#they are Innocent of all crimes your honor
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littlebittykittycommittee · 13 hours ago
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More "not explicit proof of Good Chara but damn it adds so much that to me it is":
The fucked up parallel of Chara in Asriel's body TRYING to kill the humans they hate but being held back by Asriel and in Pacifist ultimately changing for the better, trying to honor Asriel-as-himself's dying actions by helping a human navigate the Underground and even befriending them and finding hope again from Frisk's actions, helping them save the world
.... compared to Chara in Frisk's body being FORCED to kill the monsters they love because the player is forcing that on them and in Kill All ultimately turning into an indiscriminately murderous shell of themself, maxing out their LV to protect themself and taking Asriel-as-Flowey's wish to kill everyone and erase the world to heart
Which again like was it INTENDED?? Idk man, but it yields up a cool complex lil Chara and I love that. I want to pin a little medal on them and give them a hat. They're so fun if read as non malicious and full of potential for growth and change!! (like ALL these characters are, like have you SEEN them. they all change. SOME of them more than others *coughcough Asriel*) (but yeah the idea that the only thing Chara took from Asriel's death was that they hate him and monsters too now and they are unmoved by Pacifist and Kill All doesn't change them, just appeals to them because they like murder.... that means they don't change at all, ever, in their life or their death and they are instead the most static, boring, flat, shallow villain in Undertale lmao. C'monnnn.) (Let them be the dead kid who had a change of heart! Let them react and change in response to our actions in the game world as much as the other characters do!)
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fluffypotatey · 2 years ago
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sun wukong: *having fun and being a curious monkey* the monkey generals: and i took that personally
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away-ward · 1 year ago
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Part 1, because my post is just too long. Questions after reading my posts: What are your thoughts about these? Do you agree or disagree? What do you think are Emmy's flaws as compared to what was told?
Do you think Emory ever hated the Horsemen? Unpopular opinion, I dont think she ever did, and even if she LOOKED like she hated them, I always thought most of it was just a pretense and it was for three main reasons: her grandmere's safety (she was always being tailed by her brother and on multiple occassions where her brother found out about her connection with Will or the Horsemen, he came for them all or took it out on Emmy), her education (she didnt have a safety net and wanted to get out of town asap, not only to get away from he rbrother but because she thought she never really felt out of place more than her own hometown), and she thought she could never be happy or free (because of the way her brother made her feel in her growing (?) years and the issue about how her "fun" is kinda different than the townspeople's definition of "fun". Which also makes me believe that out of many aunties, Mads would get along with Emmy best, not only because she was more open-minded about knowledge and personality, they naturally share a lot of similar hobbies and environment: reading books, a bit more at peace with violence from the get go, silence and introversion, etc. Fundamentally, they're pretty similar, apart from the implied autism/adhd).
Do correct me if I'm wrong though, because when I see people's review of Emmy's feelings or thoughts towards the Horsemen, they always thought that she hated them (shes still their humbler dont get me wrong), but I dont understand why this opinion is a popular one, and I dont remember when she did that too, even at her lowest moments. I dont remember a single time in the books where she ever mentioned whether verbally or in her mind that she hated them, but I remember that she was always and at most just annoyed at them, because they were annoying punks who couldnt leave her alone and understand no means mo. When they werent around though, there was no unnecessary mention of them, she just minded her own business, building things, reading books, bonding with her grandmere, and mooning over Will.
Even when she criticise them in her mind about them or her schoolmates LOOKING happy like they were "17" and "free", she never did anything to hurt them or even spread rumours about them online or anything, unlike what e know of about people like Arion in Kill Switch. Emmy was jealous, yes, but she didnt intentionally put others down for it, she just made a general observation and left them alone, even Will knew this (maybe even the horsmen, but idr). She didnt even know what goes on during Devils Nights, it was just "another Thunder Bay drama" to her. She was just never interested in them, because she had other duties, she dealing with heavy abuse and just thought the things they find "fun" in were usually about humiliating others or shallow things that have not much substance that intrigues her to play with, at that age. We can see her having a lot of fun when she can connect with people on a deeper level though, or things that are related to her hobbies and passion, which a lot of teenagers at her age, did not find "fun" at all. A classic isolating experience of a teenager who had a different meaning of "fun" than the majority, and since a lot of people at that age just dont really understand or having fear of the concept of "not fitting in" and about being "others", she was left out and labelled negatively for it. It's just a high school thing that a lot of people go through too. Ngl, i didnt grew up like emmy, but even i can understand that high school years were really shit lmao, especially with school "cliques".
Which was also the reason why I was weirded out when Emmy and even Will himself called her judgmental because the word "judgmental" has a very negative connotation in their story right, but her "judgments" or "judgmental" thoughts were never even as bad as Rika, Banks, or even Winter (Rika was slutshaming girls and calling them stupid because she was jealous of them, even Alex when they first met, not knowing whythese girls chose to be a sex worker, then Banks literally called Rika Michael's pet project!!! And Alex an overpriced escorts!!! And many more, then we have Winter who called a lot of women in her book, especially Arion, "easy" just because Arion persued Damon, loves to fuck and date around with other guys, but then Winter turned around and ended up being the one to fuck with the same person who did worse than those girls, Damon Torrance, the mysterious guy just because she liked him? I get that these girls grew up with a lack of a maternal kr great women figure, but so did Emmy. Emmy at most I remember, only called those girls that were bullying her, Barbie Dolls and skanks (NOT ANY BETTER, i dont excuse her), but she also made sure to call out the men in the town the same MANY TIMES, especially Will for being part of this culture too, as oppose to the other girls who only came after other girls, but put the Horsemen or other guys on a higher pedestal than other women) but for some reason Rika, Banks and Winter, never label themselves as "judgmental" or were never framed in text as "judgmental". Why?
It's definitely a very interesting choice of narrative by the writer, because not only this thing gets us an insight of Emmy's characterisation of how an abuse victim and survivor might respond to her surroundings at such a young age, but also it's about her being a self-aware person of her own accountability enough early on, and maybe thats why when she vocalises her thoughts, her words could hurt others even more (?) because of how aware she was about her ownself's good and bad, and her general observation about her surroundings. Still hypocritely funny that Will only get mad at her (even Rory) when she was "judging" him and the blackchurch gang by making a general statement about their presence there, but not when they were accomplices in hurting her, threatening her life and safety prior to that table meal, lmao. Theyre so annoying, Emmy was better than me, because if I was in her situation, i wouldnt have only said wore, i wouldve done worse too, I wouldve burnt everything to the ground and made each of them suffer.
Even more interesting because during the present time, Will was even judgier than Emmy (granted he was hurt, traumatised from the jail, and sad and betrayed about the jail and her rejection), acting as if he knew everything about her when he wasnt even a friend to her, so it's not like he knew about her today, anymore than he did in the past, but no one seems to pick up on this? A lot of readers just resd the text and believe whatever things the characters said without taking a step back and look at how contrasting their history, words and actions are. Like when Emmy said that Alex knew Will better and how she was a friend to him and came for him, in my head I was like, "yeah, but its not like he was there for you or knew you any better like he knew or was there for Alex when Aydin or their family werent around tohelp Alex, so why were Emmy so hung up on what she couldnt do for him, while he was never there for her too anyway? All this while dealing with a lot of caring duties, a chance at education and financial freedom, and figuring out if her first love was good for her and each other or not outside of an abusive environment".
There's always an underlying of guilt in Emmy's pov, for "not doing enough for Will" when she barely had and could do enough for herself. The narration made the guilt and burden in her heart looked a lot worse to me, because the man that she felt guilty for wasnt even going through even 10% of what she went through (be it the past or the present), that he or his friends, didnt already do to himself or him, so I just had to stop reading nightfall from time to time because the guilt towards Emmy made ME felt suffocated, then when i looked back at it, it was so unnecessary and unwarranted as if she owed him the world or something, especially for someone who didnt even fight for her enough, before they meet again in blackchurch. It's always "she hurts him", "she didnt came back for him", "she didnt contact him", "she never fought for anything". Ok, but what about HIM? What the fuck was he doing? It took some enjoyment from me, because the undeserved guilt towards Emmy was too much sometimes. They both were weak, but the narrative made me dislike Will because of how weird the whole "its your fault emmy that hes like this". Idk, when it comes to dark romance, i was always really not a big fan of this trope of blaming their love interests for how they are, or the too-dependent-on-the-love-interests, i dont find it romantic, so maybe it's just a me thing.
Edited Aug, 19th for readability and spelling/grammar mistakes.
Hey, someone who as has much as me to say! Love to see it. Let’s go!!
Short answer to your first question: I don’t think Emory ever hated anyone. Not even her brother, in the end. I think she hated her situation, and had the tendency to lash out or direct her anger at people.
Long answer:
From the first chapter of her past POV we see this:
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You’re not wrong at all. Emory didn’t hate them. She hated what they represented: entitlement and privilege. At the same time, she was jealous of their freedom. She was angry at her situation, but she only had so many outlets and The Horsemen, who were considered princes of Thunder Bay, made perfect targets.
But when we listen to her thoughts, any judgements or negative talk is always followed by something softer, almost like a balm she uses to soothe herself or and any insult she might have directed at someone else, even if they didn’t hear it. Because she’s kind. Unless something has really irritated her beyond all rational, typically when she has a negative thought and then does the “except for this” or “but that” and goes out of her way to offer an excuse.
Mads would get along with Emmy best, not only because she was more open-minded about knowledge and personality, they naturally share a lot of similar hobbies and environment: reading books, a bit more at peace with violence from the get go, silence and introversion, etc. Fundamentally, they're pretty similar, apart from the implied autism/adhd).
I like the idea that Emmy would have a special bond with Mads; like out of all the adults, she would get him. Like they’d all accept him as he is, but accepting someone and understanding are different and I also like the idea that he’d feel safe with her. Maybe that’s why he felt comfortable talking to Will in the tree. Will’s like an extension of Emmy??
people's review of Emmy's feelings or thoughts towards the Horsemen, they always thought that she hated them (shes still their humbler dont get me wrong), but I dont understand why this opinion is a popular one
As far as readers interpreting Emory’s anger as hate, I think it’s probably an easy mistake to make. It appears that so many were already ready to dislike her, that anything other than fawning over the Horsemen was going to be an issue.
I mean, Emory is different in that regard. Rika always liked them. She especially liked Michael. She didn’t like feeling immature next to them and felt uncomfortable around Damon. Despite this, she liked them.
Banks loved Damon and liked Kai well enough to go through Devil’s Night with him. If things were different, she probably would have razzed Will and Michael, but been fond of them nonetheless. Like what we see in the present.
Winter had her “issues” with Damon (if we want to call them that for simplicity), but still felt a connection with him. Other than him, she was fine with the others for the most part, and was even curious about them in school.
Emory had a reason to be angry. It’s her proximity to the Horsemen, because of Will and because of Martin, that it often gets directed at them.
As an example, the pool scene. She just wanted a moment to herself, but here comes the horsemen, ruining her swim even though they have other options. They’re there for the sole purpose of bothering her, and they’re allowed to do it. There’s no one she can complain to. It’s not her pool. They have just as much right to it as she does, but it’s the principle of the matter. This is another situation where she is the victim of their privilege;. Worst, she knows if the circumstances were different, she might even be able to enjoy the moment with them. Will clearly wanted her to. She’d have liked to. But she couldn’t and she was angry. She lashed out.
The horsemen also bothered Martin to the point that it gets back to her, whether they always intended to or not. This upset her further with them because they never had to think about the ripple effect their actions had.
If Will never had a reason to bother her or target Martin, Emory probably could have lived her life in Thunder Bay off their radar, and they off of hers except for the occasional blip. She might have always been prejudiced against them because of their entitlement and privilege, and how they chose to use it, but not with the horsemen alone – with everyone at the school. The horsemen just seem to be an easy target because they were so brazen about it.
A classic isolating experience of a teenager who had a different meaning of "fun" than the majority, and since a lot of people at that age just dont really understand or having fear of the concept of "not fitting in" and about being "others", she was left out and labelled negatively for it. It's just a high school thing
You’re right; high school is hard for a lot of people. Emory would have had a difficult time anyway. Even if Martin was a normal older brother, she was still dealing with:
A sick grandmother
Being poor in a wealthy town/going to school with those in a different class bracket
Being different marked as different because of that, but additionally her brother is a cop
Since Martin cared so much about appearances, it's not a leap to assume that if Martin could give her a new uniform, he would have. But in the text, she wears one that is outdated, too big for her, and falling apart. Money was tight, in a town where most people have more money than they know what to do with.
Because of the lack of extra spending money, there would have been a lot she couldn’t do with her classmates. I doubt she would have wanted to rely on Will for everything, all little the extras at school. And because Martin was a cop, she would have to be extra careful not to get caught in their outside of school activities. That would have caused a strain on their relationship too – and even Emory thinks about this when she imagines their future, saying that she wouldn’t fit in with his friends and eventually he’d get tired of trying to make it work.
And at the end of the day, she’s still an introvert who would rather spend time with a few select people or alone, working on her projects, rather than party every weekend.
Yeah, there were a lot of ways that Emory’s life would have still been difficult even if we remove the abuse from the equation. No matter what, she would be different from her peers and we know how people treat those who are different…
Emmy's characterisation of how an abuse victim and survivor might respond to her surroundings at such a young age, but also it's about her being a self-aware person of her own accountability enough early on, and maybe thats why when she vocalises her thoughts, her words could hurt others even more (?) because of how aware she was about her ownself's good and bad, and her general observation about her surroundings
I think part of Emory’s growth was that she… convinced herself that she wouldn’t like their type of fun because it was beneath her. She needed to think not so highly of herself in comparison to them. But that pride and anger was one of the few things getting her through. If she let go of it, she’d have no defense against Martin or the abuse. She’d have nothing to support her getting away. She need her anger to fuel her drive. I think even she knew that, realistically, which is why we see her pull back at times. Like with Elle. She says something, that even though she believes it, she knew would be offensive and not at all what she intended to do and immediately apologizes for being rude.
Because Emory doesn’t want to be rude. She’s not mean. She occasionally has prejudices that leap from her when she’s feeling irritated, but she usually pulls it back when she takes a moment to calm down. Her pride can get the better of her at times; she’s so used to relying on it to get her through stressful situations. It’s not her go-to.
With Blackchurch, what was she supposed to think before she knew the real situation? All she knew was she was surrounded by men who came from wealth (i.e., the freedom to do whatever they wanted without consequence) who had been deemed “uncontrollable” by their own families. Like you said, they threatened her, fought her, Will was remarkably angry with her. She judged the situation and the men as dangerous and acted accordingly. The specifics only change the situation when the men (mainly Rory and Micah) start treating her better. With new information available, she adjusts her understanding.
I feel like being judgmental would mean that no new or relevant information would change anything for her. She would still hate them based on them being murders and whatever else they were. She still kept her distance from Taylor because his treatment of her never changed. He remained a threat so she treated him like one. The others changed, and so did her response to them.
I don’t know, maybe I’m giving her too much leeway. But I never felt that she was judgmental; I thought that was a defense Will cooked up to comfort himself when in the depth of his heart he knew he was wrong, he just couldn’t get over himself.
I just had to stop reading nightfall from time to time because the guilt towards Emmy made ME felt suffocated, then when i looked back at it, it was so unnecessary and unwarranted
Emmy cares so much about people, often to her detriment. It makes sense that she carries guilt, but as I’ve always said, it’s undeserved. But that’s who she is, so it came into play. It’s a shame that more readers don’t see that about her. Will’s issues were always about him; what he wanted from her, what he wanted her to think, what he wanted her to do. What he wanted, period. Meanwhile, Emmy wanted him to be happy. She wanted him to move on, because she wasn’t in a place to make him happy, and honestly, she might never be. Even when she thought she’d betrayed them, she was expecting he’d come for revenge because she didn’t think he deserved to go to prison for hurting Martin or the gazebo, no matter how it affected her personally.
She understood his anger and grief, but couldn’t take it away. I didn't think it was hers to bear though.
But she needed to learn how to throw it away and get to a place where she didn’t need her anger to move forward anymore.
when it comes to dark romance, i was always really not a big fan of this trope of blaming their love interests for how they are, or the too-dependent-on-the-love-interests, i dont find it romantic, so maybe it's just a me thing.
I will agree – if there’s a revenge plot in dark romance, I want there to be an actual reason for revenge and not just a misunderstanding or blaming the other person because they can’t cope with reality. It’s definitely not just a you thing.
*bolded are not for emphasis, but for readability in a long post*
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good-chimes · 11 months ago
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THE DIVORCE OF THE CENTURY
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS BETWEEN GRIAN AND GOODTIMESWITHSCAR, DAY 1:
His Hon. Judge BdoubleO100: Silence in the court!
[Court is not silent]
His Hon. Judge Bdubs: Silence in the COURT! I can have you all HANGED!
[The court falls as silent as is possible with a dozen Hermits present]
Judge Bdubs: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today—
Cleo: Ahem.
Judge Bdubs: WHAT?
Cleo: That’s for weddings, Bdubs. We’re not doing a wedding. In fact, if you think about it, this is about as far away from a wedding as you can get.
Judge Bdubs: Fine fine FINE. Dearly beloathed, we have all been dragged here today because SOME PEOPLE can’t get ALONG. Grian, step forward!
Grian: Do I— is this the podium for witnesses? Who built this and why did they make it out of nothing but trapdoors? So. Okay. I’m filing for divorce.
Scar: Wait, I thought I was filing for divorce.
Judge Bdubs: LET THE DEFENDANT SPEAK.
Ren: Bdubs, my man, that���s the petitioner. The court hasn’t accused Grian of any crimes.
Cleo: [darkly] Yet.
Grian: I haven’t done any crimes! I’m filing for divorce from Scar, obviously. As my lawyer will tell you—
Judge Bdubs: Do you have a lawyer?
Grian: Yes, your Honor. This is my defense lawyer Mumbo Jumbo Esq. [Waggles a hand behind his back and hisses] Mumbo!
Judge Bdubs: Mumbo’s your defense lawyer? Aren’t you supposed to have a divorce lawyer?
Mumbo: [steps forward and bows nervously] Well, I’ve never divorced anyone, but I have got a lot of experience in defending, er, mainly myself, come to think of it, and also my valuables. From Grian, as a matter of fact. So I think I’ll stick with ‘defense lawyer’ if that’s alright with the court, thank you. 
Judge Bdubs: [leans aside to confer with Cleo] Is that alright with the court? Ask Joe.
[Court Scribe JoeHills confirms this is probably alright with the court]
Judge Bdubs: Good, good, next! Scar, do you have a lawyer?
Scar: Oh, absolutely. My lawyer is this cat I found outside.
Judge Bdubs: Not Jellie?
Scar: Jellie doesn’t believe we’re really divorcing and wouldn’t come.
Judge Bdubs: Is this cat a qualified divorce lawyer?
Scar: She’s a—let me look at those markings—she’s clearly a personal injury attorney.
Cleo: Have you been personally injured, Scar?
Scar: Why, thank you for asking, I have. My feelings have been very hurt!
Ren: Uh, Bdubs, maybe the court should establish some facts. Why they’re divorcing, what the court can do for them, that sort of thing.
Judge Bdubs: YES. Let’s start with the facts. Now, we all know why you and Scar got married in the first place. Don’t stand there and make that innocent face at me, Grian, I know all the secrets. You got married because Etho and I had the WEDDING OF THE CENTURY last month and you were JEALOUS—no, don’t talk, THE JUDGE IS TALKING—you were jealous of us. [aside] Bdubs and Etho had the wedding of the century, Joe, are you writing this down?
Court Scribe JoeHills: Yep, your Honor, I’ve written that down.
Grian: It wasn’t that good.
Judge Bdubs: YOU TAKE THAT BACK.
Grian: Etho had his bouquet wrapped in a Kleenex box.
Scar: [sentimentally] Don’t you listen to him, Bdubs, I thought the flower arch was lovely.
Judge Bdubs: Thank you, Scar! I—
Cleo: You can’t find in favor of Scar because he said something nice about your own wedding decorations.
Judge Bdubs: [with dignity] —was NOT going to do that. Ahem. So, you and Scar got married because you were jealous—
Grian: We didn’t! It wasn’t like that!
Judge Bdubs: —and now you want to get divorced. Why?
[At this point Petitioner Grian and Petitioner Scar, who have been studiously avoiding each other’s gazes, appear to lock eyes by accident. They both jerk away like they’ve touched a blaze rod. Grian immediately swivels to face the bench, and this scribe has to note that at normal times Grian’s stare is disconcertingly like two soulless voids looking back at you, so it’s even worse when he’s attempting a poker face. Scar becomes very interested in his cat defense lawyer and doesn’t look at Grian at all.]
Grian: The thing is, you see, this marriage was a scam from the start.
*
EVIDENCE #1
[Dramatization by Court Scribe from participant testimony]
One month previously, a note landed in Scar’s bedroom attached to a firework rocket with a red bow and rose. This was very romantic, or at least it would have been romantic if the rocket hadn’t lodged in the rafters and set itself and a chunk of the surrounding wall on fire, but in any case it was clearly Grian making an effort, so Scar deciphered the coordinates scribbled on the charred note and set off to find out what was going on.
They pointed to a spot in the middle of nowhere. In Scar’s long experience of Grian, this meant an equal chance that they were going to make out or he was going to get inventively murdered, but this was always a gamble worth the odds.
But when he arrived, on a green hill in a quiet spot of the server, it was neither. The top of the hill had been leveled off and covered with birch wood, on which Grian was industriously spelling out something with white wool, though Scar couldn’t make out the words from his low angle of approach. Grian stopped when he spotted Scar and launched up to meet him. His wings beat so fast they were nearly vibrating.
“Scar,” Grian said, “Scar.” His grin was one of a cat who had stolen not only the cream, but the milk, the cow, and everyone else’s cows for good measure. “Scar, I’ve had an idea.”
This was clearly a planning-a-prank type of meeting, which probably meant no making out, but Grian’s pranks were not to be missed. “I’m in,” Scar said. “Do we get fancy costumes? I want a fancy costume.”
“No, Scar, that’s not the point—wait, yes, actually.” Grian angled his wings to carve tight spirals around Scar’s coasting flight, always a sign of excitement, and nudged the angle of their joint descent to land on top of the white wool scrawls. “Yes, fancy costumes are a big part of it, but that’s not—listen, this is my big gesture. Just look down.”
Scar looked down. The wool said, WILL YOU MARR.
“I ran out of wool,” Grian said. He flapped a hand. “Just because it’s a big gesture doesn’t mean it has to be finished.”
“What was it supposed to say?” Scar said innocently.
“Scar!” Grian shifted from foot to foot when he got agitated, which was always funny. “Fine! Okay! Stand there.”
The hidden trapdoor beneath their feet gave way as Grian pressed a switch. Scar yelped for form’s sake, but nothing exploded, and the only thing at the bottom of their tumbled slide was an underground bunker.
It had a table, and two chairs, and a huge corkboard on the otherwise blank walls. Grian had always had a thing for bunkers.
“This,” Grian said, with a flourish, “is the Wedding War Room.”
Scar looked around the bunker and asked the important question. “Are you going to decorate it?”
“Am I going to—no, listen, that’s not the point either. You can decorate it, if you want. The point is, you know how Bdubs and Etho got married?”
“It was beautiful,” Scar agreed immediately. “That wedding chapel? Incredible, honestly, Bdubs is a true artist. Oh! Remember the part where Etho put a river of lava through the chapel roof and glitched it into a heart?”
“Okay, but, you know what Bdubs and Etho got?
“Eternal happiness?”
“Scar.”
“No, what?”
“Bdubs and Etho got royal diamonds,” Grian said impressively. “From the vault.”
“Are they still royal diamonds if Ren’s not king anymore?” Scar said. “I thought we blew up the vault, anyway. You blew it up. I was there.”
“Do you pay any attention to anything that’s not Scarland?” Grian said. “Mumbo didn’t know what to do with the diamonds so he and Iskall built a new vault. I think Mumbo and Iskall and Impulse are the only ones who really know how to get into it. Anyway, everyone got so warm and fuzzy about Bdubs and Etho’s wedding that they all decided to open the vault up and just gave them diamonds.”
“Free diamonds?” Scar said thoughtfully.
“Free diamonds!” Grian’s eyes glittered. “Think of that vault. Stacks on stacks on stacks of diamonds. Thousands of diamonds! We could have some of those, for nothing, just by saying some words. And that’s not even mentioning the wedding presents! We’re out here spending days and days grinding resources and stocking our shops when we could be swimming in it! That could be us, Scar.” Scar had entirely forgotten the lack of interior decorations; he always did, when Grian got on a roll as mesmerizing as this.“And so,” Grian took a deep breath and held out his hand, “Scar, will you marry me?”
Scar took his hand with an enormous wave of affection. “Grian,” he said sincerely, “I have never, in my whole life, wanted to marry anyone more.”
*
EVIDENCE #2
Mumbo took the news more earnestly than Grian had expected.
“Oh,” said Mumbo. “Oh, haha, wow—seriously? Scar said something and I thought it was just a joke, but you guys actually… Wow!” He cleared his throat. “Grian, mate, it’s been a long time coming. I’m so happy for you.”
“Don’t get sappy,” Grian said. “It’s just a wedding. I mean,” he clarified, “it’s a very important wedding, obviously, because it’s my wedding, but I don’t need you to get sappy about it. I don’t even need you to talk about it. I just need you to bring diamonds.”
“I didn’t even know you were going to ask him,” Mumbo said, ignoring the very clear instructions Grian had just given him. “Or did he ask you, or—mate, that’s just brilliant. This is brilliant. Is it because Bdubs and Etho had that wedding? That was really beautiful, I don’t mind saying, I got a little bit teary.”
“This has nothing to do with any weddings anyone else had,” Grian said with dignity. “Our wedding will be better, but that’s unrelated. I didn’t come here to talk about that. I came here to ask you something.” He took hold of Mumbo’s hand in the most meaningful grip he could muster. “Mumbo, we’ve been friends for years, right?”
“Of course,” Mumbo said nervously.
Grian gave it a second’s pause for the sake of drama. “Mumbo Jumbo, will you be my best man?”
“Ah,” Mumbo said, which was not what Grian had expected. “Ah. Er. Might be a problem there.”
“What’s the problem?”
“Well, you see, five minutes ago, Scar…”
*
EVIDENCE #3
<Grian> scar
<Grian> scar
<Grian> scar
<GoodTimeWithScar> yES?
<Grian> my base.
<Grian> now.
<GoodTimeWithScar> On my way
GoodTimeWithScar hit the ground too hard
<GoodTimeWithScar> oNE MINUTE
<Grian> come in the back door
GoodTimeWithScar hit the ground too hard
<GoodTimeWithScar> Was that a trap??
<Grian> mumbo is mine
<GoodTimeWithScar> No he isn’t, Mister!
GoodTimeWithScar was slain by Ravager
GoodTimeWithScar was slain by Ravager
GoodTimeWithScar was slain by Ravager
GoodTimeWithScar was slain by Ravager
Grian was shot by GoodTimeWithScar using [HoTgUy]
<Grian> MUMBO IS MINE
GoodTimeWithScar was slain by Vindicator
GoodTimeWithScar was slain by Ravager
Grian was shot by GoodTimeWithScar using [HoTgUy]
<Renthedog>: :o
GoodTimeWithScar burned to death
<Renthedog> Everything okay there, gentlemen?
<Grian> best man debate
GoodTimeWithScar was poked to death by a sweet berry bush
<Grian> all settled now
<Renthedog> wait
<EthosLab> Wait
<BdoubleO100> WAIT
<TangoTek> are you two…?
<Grian> invitations dropping tomorrow. wedding gift mandatory.
<GoodTimeWithScar> Come one, Come all!
<Grian> only diamonds will be considered real presents
<PearlescentMoon> huh
<impulseSV> omg finally! So happy for you guys!
<PearlescentMoon> be honest Grian, is this because Bdubs and Etho got married and you had to one-up them?
<Grian> NO IT IS NOT
*
EVIDENCE #4
The bachelor party negotiations were even more hard-fought than the best man.
They held the impromptu negotiations in the Wedding War Room, which was now covered with loving maps and hundreds of bits of paper that neither of them had read since putting them up there. They looked good, though, so Scar kept adding more.
There was a pile of paper strips on the table in front of them. Scar and Grian sat facing off like two negotiators at a ceasefire.
“Mumbo’s my best man,” Grian said, picking the first name off the pile without breaking eye contact and moving it to his side of the table, “so he comes to my party.” Scar gave in with a modicum of grace. The possibility of having bachelor parties at different times had been wordlessly considered and then summarily dismissed by both combatants.
Scar escalated it to a blood sport as he picked up the next bit of paper. “Pearl’s coming to my party.”
Grian yelped and grabbed Scar’s wrist. “She is not. I knew her first!”
“I know her better,” Scar countered. “Or at least,” he added, “I know her building style better.”
“You can’t just steal my friend because you like her building! That’s not how that works!”
“I think she’d enjoy it,” Scar said meditatively. “I’m going to have champagne. Glitter. Razzmatazz.”
“I will have more champagne,” Grian said mutinously. He hadn’t taken his hand off Scar’s wrist. “And more razzmatazz. You can’t have Pearl.”
“Oh, all right then,” Scar said, since Pearl was one of Grian’s oldest friends and he’d never had a chance of getting her anyway. Grian plucked the piece of paper out of his hand and put it on top of Mumbo’s paper. “I get Bdubs, though.”
That was a given. Grian didn’t seriously dispute it, though he opened his mouth to try. “I—yes, fine. You can have Bdubs.” Scar swept the piece of paper to his own side of the table.
“And that means,” Scar proceeded, with the grand momentum of a train starting to roll, “that I get Etho, as well.” He shuffled through the bits of paper and displayed Etho’s name like a magic trick.
He watched Grian calculate his chances of getting Etho if Bdubs was going to Scar’s party. “…okay, yeah, you get Etho.”
“Also that means I get Cleo,” Scar said. “She’ll come if Bdubs does. We don’t want to split up friends.” He drew Cleo’s name towards him, sliding another couple of slips underneath it at the same time. “Oh, and Joe as well, if Cleo’s coming.”
“What’s that other one?” Grian said suspiciously. He trapped Scar’s hand and pried out the third name. “What—no, you can’t have Ren.”
“Okay, okay, okay,” Scar said in his most reasonable voice. “Hear me out. I have Cub, right?”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Well, I have Cub, and Bdubs, and Cleo, and Joe, so, by royal decree…”
“You can’t have Ren just because the five of you were in a royal murder cult with him!”
“Excuse me, mister, that wasn’t a cult. That was the royal court!”
“It was too a cult,” said Grian, a man who had once persuaded Ren into living in camper vans in the woods with him for weeks in order to break into a military base and steal a magic box.
Ren’s name was already safely on Scar’s side of the table. “And if I have Ren, then I have to have Doc—”
“Look, Scar, if you get all of Bdubs’ current and former exes—”
“—what’s a ‘current ex’—”
“—Etho and don’t interrupt me, if you get everyone Bdubs has ever had a relationship plus their plus ones you get ninety percent of our friends.”
“Is it my fault I throw good parties?” Scar protested. “Look, you can have—”
“I’m having Impulse,” Grian interrupted, pulling his name out. “I need more redstoners.”
“What for?”
Grian waved a hand. “You just need them around.” Scar nodded, unable to find a flaw in the logic. “Also I get Joel. And Martyn. And Timmy.”
“I built Jimmy a train,” Scar objected. He put his fingertips on the other end of Jimmy’s name while Grian attempted to steal it.
“All right, this is the ‘disputed’ pile,” Grian said, pushing it to the side. “Who else?”
Now they had a disputed pile, it started filling up. “If I have Cleo,” Scar said, “then technically I should have Scott—”
“You can’t keep using that trick!” 
“Then how are we going to fix it, Grian?” Scar’s tone was eminently reasonable. “I think we should just let people be friends.”
“They are friends,” Grian said. “They’re friends with me.”
“They could be friends with me.”
“Tell you what,” Grian said, a warlike gleam coming into his eyes. “We’ll ask them.”
*
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 1 (CONTINUED):
Judge Bdubs: So that’s how the split started?
Cleo: You weren’t even married at that point.
Grian: Right! Exactly! We weren’t even married and Scar used underhand methods to steal my friends!
Scar: Excuse me. You went around the server threatening everyone who you didn’t think was coming to your party. Talk about underhand methods! I just offered them a good time.
Grian: Your bribed them! You bribed them to come to your bachelor party! [stabs a finger at Judge Bdubs] You even bribed him, so I don’t know why we put him in charge of this divorce.
Judge Bdubs: Nobody is allowed to question the integrity of the judge! I am as PURE AS THE DRIVEN SNOW.
Scar: That’s a good point. I gave you netherite, Bdubs, you should be ruling in my favor.
Judge Bdubs: You gave me ONE netherite ingot, I’m not giving you a ruling for that.
Scar: Grian, I think this judge is biased.
Judge Bdubs: HOW DARE YOU.
Grian: Scar is right, this judge is corrupt! I can’t believe we were forced into this farce of a trial and the judge is corrupt! Joe, I demand a new judge.
[Court Scribe JoeHills indicates that he is pretty sure this whole divorce trial was Grian’s idea in the first place, and also that judges cannot usually be replaced just like that, and the Court Scribe personally does not have a reserve list]
Judge Bdubs: I refuse to SIT HERE and be SLANDERED! You’re both guilty! [slams gavel] TAKE THEM TO THE DUNGEONS.
[Court Scribe JoeHills confirms that the petitioners have not actually been accused of anything—despite obviously having committed many crimes, Cleo would like to me to record—so cannot be found guilty, and in any case we don’t have any dungeons]
Judge Bdubs: Fine! I give up! CLEO, YOU’RE THE JUDGE NOW.
Judge Cleo: Wait, am I?
[Judge Bdubs forcibly transfers the judicial wig to Cleo, upon which the snakes in her hair make a spirited attempt to eat it.]
Scar: Can we get on with it?
Judge Cleo: Yes, you can shut up. You can all shut up! Thank you. That’s better. Are you sure you two can’t just settle it out of court so we can all go home?
Grian: No, we can’t. Me and Scar have [checks his notes] undergone an irreparable breakdown.
Scar: Sure, we might have had an eruptable breakdown, but you can’t say it was my fault. I tried to make it work. I built us a honeymoon island! It had palm trees and deckchairs and everything. I’m coming here in good faith and I deserve to be the innocent party.
Grian: I want all the diamonds Scar has.
Judge Cleo: Joe, is he allowed to ask for that?
[Court Scribe diligently references the law summary he found on the internet, suggests that at this stage the judge can grant temporary financial orders on petitioner request]
Grian: Fine, I want half of Scar’s diamonds.
Scar: I need all my diamonds for Scarland materials!
Grian: They’re not your diamonds! They’re my diamonds!
Scar: Then I get half of all your dark prismarine, thank you very much, that will be amazingly useful.
Grian: You’re not touching my dark prismarine! I’ll sell it all if you try!
Judge Cleo: Nobody is touching anyone else’s anything! Ren, stop laughing, this is a serious courtroom. Grian, you’re not allowed to sell your dark prismarine. Scar, you’re not allowed to hide any of your diamonds. Everyone is going to keep things exactly as they are until this trial is done.
Grian: Do you trust him? Look at him, look at his face, would you trust that man? Of course you wouldn’t! All the diamonds should stay in my base while we’re having the trial.
Scar: This is outrageous! This is an outrageous demand! You can’t just question a man’s honor like that!
Judge Cleo: Well, put them somewhere safe. Joe can keep them.
Grian: [grudgingly] I suppose we could put them in the Royal Vault.
Judge Cleo: You want to put your valuables in escrow?
Scar: I don’t see what birds have to do with it.
[Short pause while the concept of ‘escrow’ is explained to both petitioners]
Scar: Well, I’ll do it, but I think Grian should put all his resources in nestcrow. Seeing as it’s all his fault.
Grian: I did everything right! I was the perfect groom!
Judge Cleo: You know, Grian, somehow I have my doubts. Go back to your marriage testimony. What happened next?
*
EVIDENCE #5
“Ahem,” said Mumbo. “Ahem.”
Grian rolled his eyes, jumped up on a table, decided that wasn’t good enough, flew up and perched on the light fitting, and yelled, “Everyone! It’s happening! The best man is speaking!”
Silence fell.
“I was actually going to announce you,” Mumbo said. He cleared his throat. “All right! So! This… is a bachelor party!”
The bachelor party–all three of them–looked at each other.
“Woohoo!” said Iskall.
“Party time!” tried Pearl gamely.
“I was promised champagne,” said Scott, who had been lured through the portal with one bribe only.
“There will be champagne,” said Mumbo. “As best man, it is my job to plan the bachelor party, and to plan a party that is… appropriate, and thoughtful, and informed by my long friendship with Grian, so,” he coughed, “if everyone could check the boxes under their chairs for supplies, we do have an event. Sort of thing. Kind of a party game.”
“Er,” said Pearl, checking under her chair. “This is… quite a lot of...”
Iskall started to giggle.
“Seriously, I was promised champagne,” said Scott.
“Yes, yes, we’ll get to that,” Mumbo said. “First, we’re going to sneak into the other party and blow them all up.”
“...so many ender crystals…” whispered Pearl.
“Look how they sparkle!” said Iskall.
“What about the—”
“And! When they’re all dead,” said Mumbo, “we can take their champagne.”
Grian flew down from the light fitting and landed in front of Mumbo. His eyes were shining. He took Mumbo’s hands in his. “Mumbo,” he breathed. “I’ve changed my mind. Can I marry you instead?”
“Er,” said Mumbo. “No?”
“Did you even order any refreshments?” said Scott.
“Listen,” Mumbo said, “it’s Grian’s party, we were going to end up doing this anyway, and it’ll be fun.”
“Dibs on blowing up Scar!” said Grian.
“We understand, Grian,” said Pearl.
“I suppose that’s sort of romantic?” said Scott in an undertone. “You’d think he’d have more trauma about it, after all the–”
“This is going to be so funny,” Grian said, scooping up handfuls of ender crystals. “Best–best man–ever.”
*
EVIDENCE #6
The actual wedding was a subdued affair.
The wedding venue had just about survived, by virtue of being several hundred blocks away from either bachelor party, though the smoking craters were visible in the background. From the front, the building was a charming mansion with flowers in every window. From every other angle it might be a gray shell, but Grian was a very busy person who was getting married and he couldn’t be expected to get to everything.
On the morning of the wedding, when Grian finally pieced himself together and dragged himself back from respawn he was met by the two Best Man candidates: Mumbo, who was sitting on the step of the venue dismally trying to piece his scorched suit back together, and Cub, who was completely unruffled and appeared to be doing a crossword.
“Oh, Grian, you made it.” Mumbo abandoned his scorched hems in relief. “Some people haven’t even respawned yet. We really do need Scar, though—”
“I’m here! I’m here!” Scar, impeccably dressed in a blue morning suit, swooped in from above, trailing flowers and losing his top hat in the process. “Gosh. Nobody else made it, huh?”
“I don’t believe this,” Grian said. “None of them?”
“Weren’t you supposed to open the portal again for the Empires people?”
“I forgot,” Grian said. “But we can’t focus on that. We have to focus on the fact that at least twenty Hermits promised to come, and now they aren’t here.”
“I, um,” Mumbo said. “I take full responsibility for the original idea, but I think the seventh time you blew up Bdubs and Ren and Doc and Zedaph you did blow up all their stuff as well. And I think some people got hit so hard they won’t respawn for a week.”
“That was their fault,” Grian said. “For being in the way of my ender crystals.”
“Seven times?” Cub said.
“Oh, as if you’ve never blown up someone and all their stuff seven times and pushed their respawn into next week.”
“So, what?” Scar said. “Do we just…not have a wedding?”
Mumbo coughed. “I think you should still get married.”
“What?”
“I just think,” Mumbo gestured vaguely. “You know, your whole thing. And Jevin made you the suits and everything. It would be a shame. You could have an intimate wedding without any guests, you know. I’m just saying.”
Grian attempted to trade a skeptical look with Scar. This didn’t work, as Scar had gone faintly red and wasn’t looking at him. “An intimate wedding, you mean, right here?” Scar said. “Now? Oh, yes, of course, but you know, now I come to think about it, I don’t know I can get married.”
This smelled like weakness. “What’s wrong with marrying me?” Grian demanded. “Are you backing out?”
“No, I—I need my top hat! I can't get married without my top hat!”
“Are you scared, Scar?”
“Of course I'm not scared!” Scar said indignantly. “We’ll do it right now! Who’s marrying us? Oh—Joe’s still respawning, isn’t he? Cub, you can do it, can’t you? Cub’s an ordained priest, you know.”
“That’s right,” Cub said agreeably.
“Is he?” Grian said suspiciously. “Which religion?”
Cub’s faint smile didn’t change at all. “Don’t worry about that.”
“You don’t want to think too hard about it,” Scar said breezily. “But he’s very official! Very well-respected in the community.”
In all their planning, Grian had given no thought at all to the actual wedding. He was nearly certain that the chanting from the officiant was supposed to be pleasant and inoffensive, about, well, love and stuff, and he was also fairly sure the officiant’s eyes were not supposed to turn black as a flaming rift appeared behind him spewing an unknowable sense of dread, but at that point Scar kissed Grian thoroughly, and that lasted so long that Mumbo had to break it up after a few minutes with a polite cough, and by that time Cub had finished chanting and gone back to his crossword.
“That was very touching,” Mumbo said, apparently relieved they weren’t still kissing right in front of him. “Shame about the guests, but you can’t have everything.”
“Shocking,” Scar agreed. “Do they still have to give us presents? Maybe if we waited a week and did it again? I have to say, I could use a little more time to get the trees right on Honeymoon Island.”
“We’re not having a honeymoon, Scar, I told you,” Grian said. “This wedding is just business, and we don’t have any business without the presents.”
Mumbo was wearing the expression that Grian had always vaguely compared to an accountant breaking the bad news about something unspeakable going on in the stockmarket. “To be honest with you,” Mumbo said, “I don’t think many of them were in a present-giving mood. I think, um, you might have to write off the presents.”
“Are you telling me,” Grian said, “that this whole scheme has been a complete failure?”
*
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 1 (CONTINUED):
Judge Cleo: So, let me get this straight, the plan was to scam all of us—
Scar: Scam is a strong word. More like a trade, if you think about it! A trade where we get presents and you get a warm sense of fuzziness and wellbeing.
Judge Cleo: —exactly, to scam us, and it all went wrong, and you realized the marriage was a mistake? That was weeks ago, though. What happened between that and the divorce?
*
EVIDENCE #7
LIST OF POST-WEDDING WRONGDOING COMMITTED BY GRIAN AND SCAR, VARIOUS (condensed from two hours of court arguments)
i. “Well, then I took some deepslate from Grian because I needed it for Scarland, which is just borrowing, if you think about it.”
ii. “Scar really owed me diamonds because it was his fault the scam didn’t work.”
iii. Lengthy descriptions of the damage from ensuing weeks-long prank war.
iv. “He should honestly have expected me to put chickens in his storage system.”
v. Evidence received from Xisuma that this lagged out the entire server.
vi. Evidence received from Grian that Scarland lags out the entire server anyway and this is probably a crime so why can’t the court do something about that.
vii. Strong representations from both sides that the other one snores and hogs the covers and this probably ought to be a crime.
*
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 1 (CONTINUED):
Judge Cleo: [face down on judicial bench] Have they stopped talking yet?
Court Scribe JoeHills: No, they’re still going.
*
EVIDENCE #8
FURTHER LIST OF WRONGDOINGS COMMITTED BY GRIAN AND SCAR
viii. “Yes I did blow him up after that, but it’s not illegal if it’s funny.”
ix. Complicated debate about whether ensuing sabotage was funny enough not to be illegal.
x. Representations from Grian that everything is Scar’s fault with absolutely no legal backing at all.
xi. Representations from Scar, ditto, with the addition of fake law he says his cat defense attorney told him.
xii. At this point, Court Scribe JoeHills has given up attempting to make sense of the petitioners’ ongoing argument.
*
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 1 (CONTINUED):
Judge Cleo: Enough! ENOUGH! No! Shut up! If I have to listen to one more attempt at utterly specious reasoning from either of you I am going to pick up this gavel and I am going to drive its handle through my own skull. This is definitely both your fault, you are terrible people, and I hope you get divorced harder than anyone has ever got divorced in history.
[Mildly stunned silence in the court]
Judge Cleo: Right. Good. I am about to quit. But before I quit, because Joe asked me nicely to come here today, I am going to order one of you to serve the other with divorce papers before tomorrow. That’s the next thing on the list: one of you has to formally divorce the other. No, I am not going to hear any more arguments, I’m done with this whole thing, you can find a new judge. Yes, Scar?
Scar: [lowers his tentatively raised hand] How do we know which one divorces the other one?
Judge Cleo: [looks blank] Well… I suppose it’s who serves their papers first?
*
COMPLAINT TO COURT:
Submitter of complaint: SCAR
Body of complaint: Grian wont accept divorce papers and keeps avoiding me.
COMPLAINT TO COURT:
Submitter of complaint: GRIAN
Body of complaint: scar didn’t take a single copy of the papers despite the fact i filled his bedroom with them
COMPLAINT TO COURT:
Submitter of complaint: SCAR
Body of complaint: Grian paid impulse to make a divorce paper printing redstone machine. It feels like this, should be Illegal!
COMPLAINT TO COURT:
Submitter of complaint: GRIAN
Body of complaint: scar employed my best man to make him a rival printing machine. this is sabotage.
COMPLAINT TO COURT:
Submitter of complaint: ZEDAPH
Body of complaint: Er, I know you’re doing a whole trial thingummy, but I would really like to be able to move around my base without swimming through mountains of divorce papers. Does it look like this is going to be possible any time in the near future?
COMPLAINT TO COURT:
Submitter of complaint: DOCM77
Body of complaint: WHY HAVE SEVENTY THOUSAND BADLY-PRINTED COPIES OF DIVORCE PAPERS BEEN SHOVELED INTO THE PERIMETER! I AM HOLDING ALL OF YOU PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE! I WILL RAIN DOWN FIRE AND BLOOD!
*
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 2:
Judge Mumbo: Right, so, apparently I’m supposed to be ruling on who served who with papers.
Scar: Excuse me! Objection! This new judge is clearly biased.
Grian: No, he’s not. This is all completely fine. Mumbo can be the judge now, and he can just wear a different hat when he’s being my lawyer.
Judge Mumbo: I am a bit biased, I have to admit.
Grian: No you’re not, Mumbo.
Scar: Admit it, there can’t be a fair trial for Grian under these circumstances!
Judge Mumbo: Uh—
Scar: Because I know Mumbo, and he can’t resist these…HoTgUy abs!
[Minor chaos as the court attempts to enforce a dress code]
Judge Mumbo: [removes his wig] Sorry, Grian, he’s right. Scar’s papers are accepted.
Grian: TRAITOR.
Mumbo: Scar, can I have another calendar?
*
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 3:
Judge Ren: Court is called to order! Where’s—oh, there you are. Scar, you’re late.
Scar: Sorry! I was working on our honeymoon island.
Grian: What do you mean, our honeymoon island? Scar, we’re divorcing.
Scar: That doesn't mean you can just abandon a build, Grian. Some of us don't leave our backsides unfinished.
Cleo: Someone please get Ren a glass of water, I think he’s going to choke.
Judge Ren: Ahem. Now, gentlemen, I understand Scar is filing for divorce from Grian on the grounds of [checks his notes] desertion, abandonment, and unreasonable behavior.
Grian: Excuse me, what! If I’ve been unreasonable, what about him?
Scar: I have been a model of rationality and recti— rectic— ridiclitude.
Judge Ren: Indeed. I have heard Scar always finishes his backsides.
Grian: I’ll give you unreasonable behavior! This whole thing is your fault! If your bachelor party hadn’t been so badly defended I wouldn’t have been able to blow you all up.
Scar: Well, mister, if you hadn’t overthrown Ren in the first place he might have shown up to our wedding in spite of it!
Grian: If you’d been better at your job I wouldn’t have been ABLE to overthrow him!
Scar: You—you—oooh, I oughta—
Grian: [tauntingly] Ought to what?
Judge Ren: Scar, no, not in court…!
Scar: HOTGUY! [Retrieves bow from improbably small pocket and summarily murders his co-petitioner on the witness. Chaos ensues. Trial name hastily changed.]
TRANSCRIPT OF TRIAL PROCEEDINGS FOR THIRD-DEGREE MURDER, DAY 1:
Judge Ren: Listen, Scar, did you, or did you not, kill another petitioner right in front of me?
Scar: What? Oh, yeah, I just shot Grian.
Judge Ren: You can’t just—My dude, this might have been a crime of passion, but you understand this is a court and that was murder, right?
Cleo: Objection.
Judge Ren: Yes?
Cleo: We can’t start prosecuting for murder now.
[Pause as the court considers the comprehensive history of all Hermits present.]
TRANSCRIPT OF TRIAL PROCEEDINGS FOR THIRD-DEGREE MURDER, DAY 1
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 3:
Judge Ren: [once Grian has returned from spawn] You’re going to have to come to some sort of agreement, gentlemen. It’s been days.
Grian: I think we should fight.
Judge Ren: This court does not do trial by combat. I refuse to be witness to such barbarity.
Cleo: I mean…if you think about it, it would stop them arguing.
Judge Ren: …
Judge Ren: I think I could stand to watch someone else compromise their morals. From a distance. Who wants this wig?
Judge Pearl: [settling in at the bench] Right! I think you two should fight. To the death.
Grian: LET’S FIGHT.
Judge Pearl: Riding ravagers.
Scar: What?
Judge Pearl: It would be funny.
Scar: Ravagers, though—
Grian: Don’t listen to Scar, he just murdered me. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
Scar: Alright! Alright, we can fight, but I’m only doing it if it’s somewhere dramatic.
Grian: …What do you mean, dramatic?
*
TRANSCRIPT OF DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS, DAY 3 (CONTINUED):
[The court has moved proceedings from its custom-built courthouse to a location considered ‘acceptably dramatic’ by Petitioner Scar. We are now in the dim, cavernous monolith of the Royal Vault, where the walls are sheer deepslate lit only by flickering lanterns, and mountains of diamonds and chests gleam softly in the shadowed gloom. The court is gathered here to watch the petitioners fight symbolically over their own escrowed valuables, which are piled in the middle of a stone platform built by Grian and Pearl, and see a final conclusion to this bitterly-fought split. At either end of the platform are pens with two enraged ravagers donated by Tango, salivating at the buffet of violence and blood about to—]
Judge Pearl: [leans over the edge of her observation chair] Joe! What are you doing down there scribbling?
Court Scribe JoeHills: Oh, I’m just adding narrative color.
Judge Pearl: Well, stop doing that and pay attention to the fight! We’re about to start!
Bdubs: FIGHT!
Cub: Let’s go!
Mumbo: Grian, mate, you’ve got this.
Bdubs: RUN HIM THROUGH, SCAR. TEACH HIM TO MAKE FUN OF MY WEDDING DECORATIONS.
Doc: What happens if they both die? I would like them both to die.
Judge Pearl: Contestants! Mount your steeds!
Grian: [has succeeded in landing on his ravager’s back, something Scar has not yet managed] I want you to know, Scar, that whatever happens—
Judge Pearl: Scar! You can’t just stand there, you have to TRY to ride it.
Grian: —I think we can count this as a—
Bdubs: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Scar: [his head comes up to look at Grian] —a double victory?
[As if this is a code word, Grian and Scar’s gazes meet. The Court Scribe feels obliged to note that when Grian and Scar smile at the same time, history suggests something terrible is about to happen.]
Scar: Well, hello there, Mister Ravager! Would you like to get out of that pen?
Bdubs: Wait, what’s he—Scar, you ain’t supposed to break the wall that lets them at us! SABOTAGE!
Judge Pearl: GRIAN!
Grian: [shrieking as his ravager swerves into the crowd of spectators] Scar! The switch!
[Your trusty Court Scribe hurriedly dives out of the way as Scar flings himself into the pile of his and Grian’s valuables, where the tell-tale glint of redstone has been hidden under the piles of chests.]
Ren: Why do both of them have all those empty shulkers?
Cleo: Wait, wait, did we just give Grian and Scar unfettered access to all the diamonds in the vault?
Judge Pearl: WATCH OUT, THEY’VE HIDDEN TNT UNDER THE—
[Scar slams a switch. The world explodes. The Judge and most spectators are instantly blown up. The only survivors are your Court Scribe, who managed to get behind an obsidian pillar, and Cub, rising above the chaos on pre-equipped elytra wings with the philosophical serenity of someone who saw this coming.]
*
POSTSCRIPT
It’s a beautiful day, the sky is a clear and serene blue, and Grian and Scar have gotten away with everything.
Grian coasts joyfully ahead of Scar on outstretched wings, loaded down with boxes and boxes of ill-gotten diamonds, looping head-over-heels only when he can’t contain the energy bubbling through him. “We are the greatest, Scar. We are geniuses. We are the greatest geniuses who ever lived.”
“Oh, we are,” Scar agrees instantly. A lesser person might have pointed out their first plan failed spectacularly and their hasty second one only succeeded by luck, but this is why Grian married Scar specifically. Only he’s not married to Scar any more, is he? For one shining moment Grian had forgotten that.
The crater of the Royal Vault is far below and receding, the debris scattered like little jeweled toys. Grian is recalled to the present gleeful moment in which they are geniuses who have pulled the whole thing off and are richer than every other hermit put together. “Where are we going?”
“I was following you,” Scar says.
“I didn’t think this far ahead! I only planned up to the part where we stole everyone’s diamonds!”
“Oh, well, that’s easy,” Scar says confidently. “Change course to Honeymoon Island!”
Grian doesn’t have a good argument against that, and anyway, he’s too happy and diamond-dazzled to argue. Scar strikes out to the azure ocean and Grian dips into his wake and soars behind.
Scar has outdone himself, as usual. Honeymoon Island is just one long crescent-shaped beach with crystal seas, golden sands, palm trees, deck chairs, and—somehow—little iced coconut drinks that keep reappearing and each have a little paper umbrella. Naturally, Scar hasn’t thought of including a safe room for all their new valuables, so Grian has to dig out a makeshift bunker for all their ill-gotten gains, but when all that excitement is done, Grian throws himself onto a deckchair with a coconut drink and closes his eyes.
“So?” Scar says, in the expectant tone of someone who has spent three weeks fiddling with the palm trees that are currently casting an exquisitely-latticed shade over Grian’s eyelids, despite the fact they were technically divorcing all that time. “What do you think?”
“It is very pretty,” Grian admits grudgingly. “We can’t use it for a honeymoon, though. We’re divorced.”
“Are we divorced?” Scar is thoughtfully making origami out of his paper umbrella. “We did ditch them all before the trial officially finished.”
“Oh, we’re absolutely divorced. Super divorced.”
“I suppose you’re right. No honeymoon for us, then?”
An idyllic silence falls over the palm-fringed beach. The sea laps at the shining sands, creating a soft music from the shells and pebbles. The leaves rustle. This coconut drink in Grian’s hand is surprisingly good.
“Scar—”
“Hey, Grian—”
There is a pause.
“Go on,” Grian says impatiently.
“No, no, I think you should ask.”
“I asked last time!” This is ridiculous. It’s a shame Grian has been enchanted by the ridiculous for years now. “We’re probably not even talking about the same—”
Scar interrupts, which is rude, but unfortunately he’s picked his most golden and unfair voice, like the sea caressing the sand, and Grian is momentarily helpless. “Will you, Grian,” Scar says, “do me the great honor of marrying me? Again?”
Grian throws a paper umbrella at him. “Scar,” he says, “I thought you’d never ask.”
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jurimaart · 7 months ago
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he's innocent of all crimes your honor
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rockingbytheseaside · 4 months ago
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✦ You are found guilty
(Neuvillette sentences you for your horrible crimes. That's it. sfw)
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“It saddens me to announce this… But you leave me with no choice. I shall render the final verdict.” 
The Iudex of Fontaine stood before you, tall and regal with his imposing gaze of impartiality. With a solemn clearing of his throat, he prepared to deliver the ultimate decision. “In light of the evidence provided, and the gravity of your actions, I shall announce the final judgment.”
“N-no… Your honor, Please,” - you whispered, shaking your head in disbelief at what will come. Your hands came clasping together, a silent plea for mercy.
“According to the judgment of Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale…”
“I beg you, d-don’t.”
“... The court finds the defendant guilty.” 
The court fell silent, as the words of the Chief Justice echoed throughout the hall. The silent witnesses of your case were immobile, and no one was here to defend your sins. You clenched your fists, your gaze searching Neuvillette’s despairing one. 
“But monsieur, I am telling you, I am innocent. Look, I have a child!”
Another silence bestowed upon the room. Neuvillette cleared his throat and in the same eloquent tone of formality interjected. Although it took him a great deal not to break out of character - “My dear. For the last time, a four-foot Otter plushie cannot constitute adequate evidence of being a child.” 
You sulked. Had this been a true courthouse, the onlookers would have shaken their heads in disbelief at your feeble attempt to feign innocence. But there were no living spectators in this courthouse. In fact, you and your beloved were not even in the Opera Epiclese. In reality, it was the sanctuary of your home, and the so-called eyewitnesses were your countless pillows or plushies that blocked Neuvillette from hugging you at night when you monopolized the bed with them.
“After careful and thorough consideration, the court has determined that you shall be sentenced to... “ - Neuvillette paused for the dramatics. “An eternity of cuddles and kisses provided by the Iudex himself.”
“Have mercy on me, Neuvi. I used the Otter plushie as a pillow and fell asleep once, it’s not like I forgot to give you a goodnight kiss on purpose, honey.” 
But of course, your beloved would not let such deeds go unpunished. That’s how your life was with him, along with the endless ‘legal jokes’. Neuvillette's professional life demanded impartiality and severity in accordance with the law, but at home, in the comfort of your arms, all formality dissipated. For his sanity, he relished returning home where his need to physically bury his face onto your chest was systematic. All you need to do is either caress his silver hair, embrace him in bed, or give him a loving kiss - it doesn’t matter, he is already a puddle of a dragon in your arms.
However, dare to forget your nightly cuddles and it will rain heavily outside out of the blue.  
“I am afraid the decision is final, dear. No chance of parole, either.” - He sat beside you, arms warped around your form to envelop your face in much-needed kisses. He peppers gentle pecks on your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, anything to reach the quota of the skipped smooches you neglected him. 
“Aw, man. Not even on good behavior?”
“Absolutely not. The court renounces your plushie rights for the upcoming nights.”
It appears that if one yearned for a large Otter to embrace, they may have had one right by their side all along.
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natsaffection · 5 months ago
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Mafias Mistress pt. 6 | N.R.
MafiaBoss!Natasha x CivilianYounger!Reader
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Warnings: 18+! MINORS DNI! Age gap (Natasha is 32 = reader ist 22) Fingering, begging, strap on use (r receiving), rough sex, dirty talk,
Word Count: 6,8K
A/N: It’s overrr. Thank you for all the support on this story! I really liked it to write and see talk reactions on it🫱🏼‍🫲🏻 As with all my other series, requests are of course welcome for this story! 🫶🏼
The room was silent except for the gentle sounds of Natasha's movements as she carefully tended to you. The air was filled with a mixture of lingering tension and the soft light of early dusk filtering through the curtains. You lay on the bed, your body aching from the intense punishment you had received, but the warmth and care in Natasha's touch brought a sense of comfort you hadn't expected.
Natasha gently cleaned your marks, applying soothing ointments and massaging where necessary. Her movements were delicate, almost reverent, as if she was trying to ease the pain she had caused.
Your eyes fluttered open, your voice barely above a whisper. "Why are you doing all this..."
Natasha paused for a moment, her eyes filling with a mixture of regret and determination. She took a deep breath, her voice soft and firm as she considered Maria's words.
"Talk to her. Help her understand."
"I... was born into a world of chaos..." she began, "My parents were involved in organized crime, and it was only a matter of time before I got sucked in, and before that happened, I ran away... I lived on the streets for 2 years, struggling to get by. Until a powerful organization took me in and from then on I regretted my first decision. They saw potential in me, potential to be more than just a foot soldier."
She sighed, her expression pained. "They trained me to be an assassin, ruthless and efficient. They taught me how to kill, how to manipulate, and how to use every tool at my disposal, including my own body. Part of that training was.. using control and dominance to get what I wanted. It became a part of who I was, a way of surviving in a world where weakness meant death.”
You listened, your mind forming a picture of the girl Natasha had been, forced into a life of violence and manipulation.
"But I didn't want to be just another puppet for anyone, because then I might as well have stayed with my father," Natasha continued, her voice growing firmer. "I wanted more. I wanted control over my own destiny. But leaving wasn't easy. I made a plan. I began gathering information, building connections, and identifying those within the organization who were dissatisfied. It took years, but eventually I had enough support to make my move. I staged a coup. It was bloody and brutal. I had to be ruthless. There were no second chances. Those who supported me joined me, and those who didn't... didn't survive."
She paused, her voice dropping to a whisper. "That night changed everything. I became the head of my own group, but it came at a cost. I lost friends, allies, people I cared about. But it was the only way to take control and build something new.”
Natasha's expression softened as she turned her gaze back to you. “I didn't want to run an organization like the others. I wanted to be different, better. I set up rules and codes of conduct. We still operated outside the law, but we had a sense of honor. We protected the weak, fought against those who exploited the weak. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than what I knew.”
She turned her gaze back to you. “And then I met you. You were different from anyone I'd ever known. You were kind, innocent, and full of life. You saw something in me that I didn't see myself. You didn't know who I was, and you treated me like a normal person. For the first time in my life, I felt something other than anger or fear. I felt...love.”
She continued, her hands now calm as she looked deep into your eyes. "I tried to keep you away from this life, to protect you from the darkness that surrounds me."
You felt tears well up in your eyes, touched by Natasha's words. "I didn't know that."
"how were you supposed to know?" Natasha looked into your eyes to see a reaction, "But you still had secrets from me," you said, your voice shaking.
Natasha nodded, her expression pained. "I know. I remember seeing you in the hangar for work. You were there, so focused and determined, and I couldn't take my eyes off you. I invited you to my house under the pretense of work, but in truth, I just wanted to be near you. I didn't just want you physically, I wanted you in every way. You were the only one I thought about, even when I was with someone else. I know that's hard to hear, but you have to understand that you changed everything for me."
She continued, her voice softening as she remembered those days. "Every time I saw you, my heart raced. You were a light in my dark world. I knew I was falling in love with you, and that scared me so much. I tried to keep my distance, but I couldn't stay away. When I finally confessed my feelings, I was terrified. I had never been so vulnerable in my life."
Natasha's face darkened with anger and fear. "And when I saw Viktor in your apartment, my heart stopped. He was sent by the former mafia to hurt you, to get to me. The moment I saw him, I knew I had to act. I couldn't let him hurt you. I would do anything to protect you, even if it meant becoming the monster I so desperately wanted to leave behind."
She took your hand and squeezed it tightly. "I know it was awful, and I'm so sorry you had to see that. But I would do it again if it meant protecting you. I love you more than anything and I can't lose you."
You felt a mix of emotions - anger, fear, sadness and love - swirling inside you. "I understand..." you said quietly, your voice full of emotion. "I understand why you did what you did. But that doesn't make it easy though."
Natasha nodded, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I'm so sorry for everything, Y/N. The secrets, the punishments, the fear, the isolation, everything I've caused you. I promise I'll be honest with you from now on. No more secrets, please... I...I don't want to lose you..."
You reached out and took Natasha's hand in yours. "Okay." Natasha looked at you in surprise, a genuine smile full of hope and love. "O-Okay?"
"Yes." You looked at her with a gentle and serious look, "I'll try. But no more lies! No secrets, I want you to talk to me about everything that happens here. Both you and everyone else here."
Natasha's eyes filled with tears that she tried to suppress, she nodded frantically, "Yes...Yes, I promise you." You looked at her and saw how serious Natasha was. You nodded and Natasha got up to leave, to give you some rest. But as she wanted to turn away, she felt your hand holding hers.
Natasha understood immediately and lay down next to you. She gently pulled you into her arms and stroked your back soothingly. "Sleep now. Tomorrow will be a new day, okay?" she whispered, calming you in small, circular movements.
You sighed softly and gave in to the pleasant exhaustion that Natasha's presence brought you. Just before you fell asleep, you heard Natasha whisper softly, "You are the most important thing in my life."
But you were too tired to fully understand the words. You fell asleep in Natasha's arms, and Natasha stayed awake, her heart filled with a mixture of love and guilt, determined to do anything to regain your trust and protect you forever.
The sun shone through the large windows of the property in Spain, filling the rooms with warm light. You woke up in Natasha's arms, your bodies still close together. The closeness, the warmth and the calm of the morning made the events of the previous night seem almost like a dream.
Natasha was already awake and watching you with a gentle smile. "Good morning," she whispered, her voice soft and reassuring. You blinked sleepily and returned the smile. "morning."
After breakfast, while you were sitting together in the garden, Natasha took your hand and looked at you with a mischievous smile. "I have a surprise for you."
You raised an eyebrow and smiled curiously. "I'm afraid of your surprises..."
"I want to invite you to a ball tonight," Natasha said. "It's an important social event and I want you to be by my side." You were surprised, but also excited. "A ball? I've never been to a ball before. I don't even have anything suitable to wear."
Natasha just grinned. "Don't worry. That's already taken care of."
A little later, you were in your room and were amazed when a group of stylists arrived with a variety of beautiful dresses. The stylists, who had a wonderful sense of humor and fashion, immediately brought life into the room.
"Oh my God, darling, look at this beauty!" exclaimed one of the stylists, a tall man with perfectly styled hair, when he saw you. "She's like a canvas waiting to be painted," agreed another, a shorter man with lively eyes and a wide smile.
The stylists immediately began to attend to you. Your hair was artfully pinned up, strands carefully curled and arranged in an elegant hairstyle.
"Turn around, love," one of the stylists said, gently turning you to look at your hair from all angles. "We want to make sure you look perfect from all angles."
As they worked, they chatted happily, making you laugh over and over again. "Did you hear what happened on the red carpet last week?" asked the short stylist, telling a funny story that made everyone in the room laugh.
After the hair was done, one of the stylists brought in a selection of dresses. "We have a selection here that would make any princess jealous."
You tried on several dresses while the stylists helped you and gave you tips. Natasha watched carefully the whole time and occasionally gave her opinion. "This dress makes her eyes sparkle," Natasha said, looking at you in an emerald green dress.
"Ms. Romanoff is absolutely right," the tall stylist agreed. "But I think the blue dress would look wonderful on her too." After several fittings, you found the perfect dress - a stunning floor-length dress in a deep shade of red that perfectly accentuated your figure and made your skin glow.
"Oh my God, you look like a goddess," the short stylist said, stepping back to admire you. "Ms. Romanoff, what do you think?" Natasha had to hold back from letting her mouth drop open in admiration. "She looks incredible," Natasha said, her eyes sparkling with pride and desire.
The stylists set about perfecting your makeup. They chose subtle but effective colors that emphasized your natural beauty. "A touch of blush here and some shine there," the tall stylist murmured as he carefully applied brush strokes. "Perfect."
Meanwhile, two other stylists came over and began choosing your accessories. They chose delicate earrings and a matching bracelet that complemented the dress perfectly.
At that moment, there was a knock on the door and Maria entered. She stopped and her eyes widened in surprise and admiration. "Wow, she's beautiful.." Natasha had to smile.
The evening arrived, and you and Natasha drove to the ball in an elegant car. The magnificent estate where the ball was held was decorated with lights and flowers, and the guests wore the finest dresses and suits.
As you and Natasha entered the hall, many heads turned to look at you. Natasha, in her elegant smoking, held your hand tightly and confidently led you through the crowd.
You felt a little overwhelmed at first, but Natasha's presence calmed you down. You introduced yourselves to various high-ranking guests, and Natasha made sure you felt comfortable and included.
Back in the ballroom, you and Natasha danced to the soft music played by the live band. But suddenly an elegant woman in a black dress approached you. She had an aura of confidence and a clear aura of past intimacy.
"Natasha," the woman said, placing a hand on Natasha's arm. "It was a long time ago." Natasha turned around and immediately recognized her ex-girlfriend, Elena. "Elena," she said coolly and pulled her hand back. "What are you doing here?"
You watched the scene and felt a slight uncertainty rising. But Natasha quickly made it clear where her loyalties lay. "Y/n, this is Elena. An old... acquaintance."
Elena smiled charmingly, but her eyes flashed with curiosity. "Oh, and who is this charming woman at your side?"
"This is Y/n,” Natasha said firmly and pulled Y/N closer to her. "My partner." Elena raised an eyebrow, "Well, I see you've finally found someone who makes you happy. Good luck to you both."
Natasha nodded just a little and then turned completely to you again. "Let's keep dancing," she said and led you back to the dance floor without even looking back at Elena.
Suddenly Natasha felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket. She took a quick look at it and saw that it was an urgent call. "I have to take this call," she said apologetically to you. "I'll be right back."
You nodded understandingly. "Okay, I'll go to the bathroom in the meantime." You looked at your reflection in the mirror. How did Elena convince Natasha back then? Was she just one of those girls? Or something else?
You couldn't help but let your mind wander until you felt Natasha's hands on your shoulders again. "I can see something is going on. Please don't tell me it's because of Elena." You turned around. "And what if it is? How long has it been between you?"
Natasha studied your gaze until she had to grin. "Is someone jealous?" Your eyes stayed on hers, but she could see the frown. "It was over with her years ago. Don't worry about it... I only have you on my mind." Her hands ran down your arms.
Her lips met yours in a hungry kiss, tongues mingling and swirling in an intimate dance. Your heart pounded against your chest, an artesian well coming to life inside you. Natasha slipped her hands under your dress and caressed your bare back. You couldn't help but laugh “seriously? Here?”
You leaned your head back and bared your neck, your breasts rising and falling rapidly as you gasped for air. "S-S-Shit, Natasha.."
She pushed you against the cold tiled wall, grabbing your face and lifting it up so your eyes met. She kissed you again, this time slowly and deeply, your tongues wrestling and exploring each other. The heat between you grew steadily, your breaths mingling and fueling the fire that burned within you.
Slowly, Natasha's skilled hands began to wander, moving down your front and caressing the soft fabric stretched tight over your nipples.
"I want to feel every inch of you."
You fluttered your eyes shut, your body melting into the intimate embrace. Natasha seemed to embody that very quality, her firm grip and commanding presence sending shivers down your spine.
"What do you want, baby?" Natasha asked, kissing your jaw. "Do you want me to touch you? Taste you?"
"Yes," you gasped, your voice barely above a whisper, your breath catching as Natasha's fingers danced tantalizingly close to your aching breasts.
Natasha grinned, her eyes shining with desire as she traced a trail of wet kisses down your neck. Her hand finally slipped under the fabric of your bra and roughly cupped a breast.
"Oh god," you moaned, your fingers clenching in Natasha's hair as the nipple hardened under the older woman's touch.
"You're so sensitive," Natasha whispered against your flushed skin. "And I'm just getting started." She teased the sensitive tip with her thumb, drawing a helpless gasp from your lips.
Then she quickly unclasped your bra and let it fall from your body, exposing your bare breasts. Instantly, your nipples tightened even more under Natasha's heated gaze. Without a second's hesitation, Natasha leaned down and took one of your nipples into her mouth.
"Oh, f-fuck!" you cried. You couldn't believe what was happening. Every thrust of Natasha's tongue, every flick and swirl sent sparks of pure ecstasy through your veins. You moaned loudly, your hands tightening in Natasha's red hair, urging her on.
With a growl of pleasure, Natasha sucked harder on your nipple, pulling it deeper into her hot, wet mouth, then released it with a pop.
"God, you taste amazing," Natasha gasped, turning her attention to your neglected other breast. Her fingers slid down your waist, exploring the soft skin of your stomach before dipping under the waistband.
Natasha's touch was electric, and you couldn't help the tremors that shook your body as your desire grew stronger. You writhed in pleasure as Natasha expertly teased your aching tips, each tug and pull sending waves of scorching heat through you, igniting your nerve endings.
Her other hand dipped beneath the elastic of your panties and she slid her fingers through the silky auburn locks that protected your core. Her fingers penetrated deeper, sliding over your swollen, wet folds as she sought and found your weeping entrance.
Natasha's touch was masterful and she knew exactly how to control your body. She slid her skilled fingers through your dripping slit and ran a deft finger over your sensitive clit, making you buck against the wet, warm invasion.
Natasha breathed heavily and slid her fingers deeper inside you, her touch slippery as she curled her fingers and caressed that inner spot no one had discovered inside you before.
Your moans intensified, the world spun around you. She began a rhythmic, relentless pace, driving her fingers in and out of your wet heat, your bodies melding in an intimate dance, an erotic ballet of pleasure. Natasha's lips found yours, consuming your moans and whimpers in a lingering kiss.
"You like this, don't you?" Natasha asked, her words hot and labored as she broke the kiss, leaving you breathless and trembling.
You nodded, unable to find your voice.
All that escaped your lips was a hungry moan as Natasha curled her fingers into your wet folds again. With each thrust, you thought you might just fall apart, that the wave engulfing you might finally crash over you.
"Oh, how you love this," Natasha whispered in your ear, her lips brushing against the shell of your ear. "You're so fucking wet for this, you need it."
You gasped, unable to deny the truth of those words. Despite everything, you couldn't help but squirm and moan as Natasha continued her skillful assault. Her talented fingers moved in and out of your sweltering wet heat, rubbing at that inner spot that made you see God and stars alike.
"You know what to do," Natasha said, her breath hot against your ear. Her fingers continued their relentless assault on your quivering core.
Your mind swirled, overwhelmed by a whirlwind of pleasure. You felt yourself slipping deeper into blissful oblivion with each thrust of Natasha's talented fingers.
"Please!" you gasped, your voice barely above a whisper. "I... want... Please let me come!"
Natasha's lips curved into a wicked smile. "Good girl," Natasha murmured, her voice deep and sexy. Seeing your flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes, she knew she had you on the edge of arousal. She pressed firmly against your clit with her thumb and forefinger, applying just the right amount of pressure to drive you wild.
With a final flick of her wrist, Natasha slid a third finger into your wet heat, filling you completely. You gasped and arched your back, your head resting on her shoulders.
Natasha slid her other hand ne hind your back, holding you firmly against the sink as she rhythmically plunged her fingers deep into your tight channel.
Your breathing quickened, your chest rose and fell in irregular patterns as your orgasm approached a painful climax.
"Don't hold back, Detka. Let me feel you." Natasha coaxed you, her commanding tone urging you to let go. Her movements became faster, almost frantic.
"Come on. Don't fight against it. Fall apart for me." With a strangled moan, you succumbed to the delicious burst of pleasure that coursed through your body.
Legs shaking, orgasm washing over you like a flood, your nerves tingling with the sheer force of your release. Your body spasmed as wave after wave of euphoria enveloped you, each trembling contraction pushing you to the edge of a deep abyss that threatened to swallow you whole.
And Natasha watched with wild satisfaction, her fingers never trembling as she pounded relentlessly into your wet, throbbing core.
After your intense moment, Natasha helped you compose yourself. Her eyes were still full of intensity, but also of something else. "Y/n," Natasha said seriously. "There's a plane waiting for you tomorrow. It will take you back home."
You looked at Natasha confused. "W-What? Why?" Natasha took your face in her hands. "I love you. But I don't want you to be in danger. Dreykov is here in Spain and I need to take care of him. It's safer for you if you go home."
You shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes. "But you brought me here? Why should I leave now?" Natasha sighed "My team set a trap for Dreykov. He's here in Spain now and I need to make sure he's no longer a threat. I can't leave you here while that happens."
You nodded slowly, your tears streaming down your face. "But I don't want to leave you." Natasha kissed your forehead gently. "I'll come as soon as possible. I've booked an apartment for you where you'll be safe. It's only for a short time."
In the morning, you sat quietly in the car and looked out the window. The Spanish countryside rushed past you, but your thoughts were on Natasha. You felt empty and confused, not sure what the future would bring. Maria sat next to you, concentrating on the road, but she too seemed to be deep in thought.
Suddenly Maria's phone rang. You noticed the urgent expression on Maria's face as she answered the call. "Yes?" Maria said curtly.
You looked over at her curiously, and Maria quickly changed to a serious tone. "Stop the car," she suddenly said to the driver. "Right now."
You looked at her worriedly. "What's wrong?" Maria turned to you, her eyes full of determination. "Y/n, you have to stay in the apartment, am I clear?"
Y/N nodded hesitantly. "Yes, but What happened? Maria got out of the car and looked at you with a serious look. "I can't explain it to you now. Please, trust me. Stay in the apartment and wait for Natasha.”
You nodded again, although you still felt uncertain. Maria got into another car that had suddenly appeared and drove away quickly. The original car continued its journey and you looked out the window thoughtfully.
Back in your country, you entered the luxurious apartment that Natasha had booked for you. It was breathtaking. large windows offered a breathtaking view of the city, the decor was modern and elegant. But despite the beauty of the place, you felt lonely and abandoned.
You tried to call Natasha, but every time only the voicemail answered. “Hey, Natasha. Please call me as soon as you can. I'm worried,” you said into the voicemail and hung up with a sigh.
In an attempt to distract yourself, you decided to visit your best friend Sarah. When you stood in front of Sarah's door and rang the bell, it didn't take long for her to open the door. Sarah's eyes widened in surprise and relief when she saw you.
"Oh my God, Y/n!" Sarah exclaimed, pulling you into a tight hug. "Where were you? I thought you'd been kidnapped or worse!"
You smiled weakly. "It's a long story. Can I come in?" Sarah pulled you into the living room and sat next to you, worried. "Tell me everything. What happened?"
You began to tell your story, leaving out the dangerous details and Natasha's criminal activities. "I met someone, Sarah. Her name is Natasha. She took me to another world, and it was... exciting and scary at the same time."
Sarah looked at you with wide eyes. "You just disappeared! We were so worried. Tell me about her if she's so important that you'll drop everything!”
You smiled and nodded. “She's... special. She always knows what she wants. She makes all my sexual fantasies come true... And she's just... perfect. This woman has no fat, no spots, everything... just gorgeous.”
Sarah raised an eyebrow. “And what does she do for a living?” You hesitated, searching for the right words. “Her family... is very rich and they respect traditions... and stuff.”
Sarah shook her head. “You also think I'm the last pea, don't you? Truth, now.” A few minutes later, you and Sarah were sitting there with a bottle of wine. After all, you had told everything - about the death of the man in your apartment, Natasha's connection to the mafia and the reasons why Natasha had sent you back.
Sarah looked at you, shocked and worried at the same time. “That's... How are you??” You sighed deeply and took a big sip of wine. "I don't know. She showed me that she would do anything for me. But it's also scary how far she would go."
Sarah put a hand on your shoulder. "I understand now why you're so in love, but also why you're so scared. What are you going to do now?"
You looked out the window and thought for a moment. "I don't know exactly. I just have to trust that Natasha will come back and that we'll somehow find a way to get through all this."
After thinking about it for a while, Sarah leaned forward and smiled mischievously. "I have an idea. Why don't we have a real girls' day today? We'll go for a massage, to the hairdresser and to a club in the evening. What do you think?"
You hesitated for a moment, but then you nodded slowly. "That actually sounds pretty good. I could really use a distraction."
Sarah beamed. "Perfect! Let's get started."
Sarah dragged you from one place to another. First, you went to a spa where you treated yourselves to a relaxing massage. You could feel the tension in your shoulders slowly easing away and you sighed deeply in relief.
"This is heaven," you murmured as the masseuse skillfully eased your tension. After the massage, you headed to a fancy hair salon. There, you got your hair cut and styled while Sarah got a new hairstyle as well. You laughed and chatted with the stylists and enjoyed the pampering treatment.
In the evening, you dressed in fancy dresses and headed to an exclusive club that happened to be near your apartment. The club was located in a wealthy area of ​​the city and was known for its elegant atmosphere and high-profile guests.
Sarah and you entered the club and were immediately greeted by the lively music and sparkling lights. You danced and laughed, leaving the worries of the day behind you and enjoying the moment.
Towards the end of the evening, as you were making your way back to the apartment, you noticed a man following you. He was charming and chatting to you, but you could see the underlying intentions in his eyes.
"It really was a great evening," the man said as you arrived at the entrance to your apartment. "Perhaps we could extend the evening a little longer?"
You smiled politely but firmly. "Thank you, but I think it's better if I go home now." The man didn't seem to accept that and took a step closer. "Come on, just one last drink."
Suddenly you heard a familiar, icy voice behind you. "I think she said no." You turned around and saw Natasha standing in front of you with sparkling eyes and a determined look on her face. The man backed away, startled.
"I think you should go now," Natasha said threateningly. The man didn't hesitate for long and hurried away. Your heart pounded in your chest as you looked at Natasha.
Your relief quickly turned to anger. "Where were you? Why didn't you answer my calls?!"
Natasha sighed and stepped closer. "I couldn't answer the phone. I'm sorry." You shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes. "You have no idea how worried I was. And now you just show up here like nothing happened?"
Your shoulders sank and you felt your anger slowly subside. "I was really scared, Natasha. I thought something had happened to you." Natasha pulled you into a tight hug, her voice soft and soothing. "I'm sorry for making you so worried..."
Finally, you let the tears flow freely and clung to Natasha. "Promise me you'll never make me so scared again." "I promise," Natasha whispered, holding you tightly in her arms. When the embrace broke, the two looked at each other. Natasha's face spoke volumes.
Your legs wrapped around Natasha's thighs and you forced your hips against hers. Natasha's lips curved into a smug grin before throwing you onto the bed.
With a playful glint in her eyes, she took off her shirt and tossed it aside. She leaned over you and ran her hands down your body to your waist, and with a deft flick of her hips, removed the remnants of your clothing. You lay before her in all your glory, your eyes wide with desire.
"You are so beautiful," Natasha purred, her voice deep and heavy with desire. You felt another surge of heat in your core as Natasha's eyes roamed over your naked body, lingering on every curve. Natasha hooked her thumbs under the waistband of her own pants, slowly sliding them down inch by inch, revealing her proud strap-on.
You looked up at the sight, suddenly fearless and excited. The very thought of taking something so impressive inside you was intoxicating and terrifying in equal measure, but you didn't hesitate for a moment. You wanted it, no you needed it so much that you would risk your dignity just to get a glimpse of what this could offer you.
You stared at Natasha, your eyes fixed and full of desire. You nodded slowly, a silent expression of your approval. Natasha's grin widened, her eyes shining as she leaned in to whisper in your ear. "You don't know how much I've wanted this."
Her breath tickled your ear, making you shiver as Natasha's teeth gently bit into your earlobe, ripping a gasp from your lips.
"Is this what you want?" Natasha growled, framing your face with her strong hands and guiding you to look up at her with deep, mesmerizing eyes.
With a pinch of her lips and a roll of her hips, you forced Natasha to take the initiative and do what she wanted with you. Overcome by your lust, Natasha didn't hesitate - she took your mouth and pressed her lips roughly to your own. Your tongues met and mingled, your mouths opening wide as you pressed against each other, your wet bodies tangling.
You sucked in a sharp breath as the tip of Natasha's cock entered you, stretching you wide. Your legs tightened around Natasha and you gasped and moaned, unable to control yourself. Your skin felt like it was burning with pleasure, electric currents radiating from where they were, combining with an ache in your chest as she pushed further and further.
Natasha was all muscle and strength as she took your hips and lifted them up to her. Your throbbing clit was pressed against Natasha's hard pelvis, the dual sensation of penetration and friction sending an escalating wave straight to your soul and making your body tremble.
Your legs tightened around Natasha's waist, pulling her in deeper, urging her to take your body all inside her. The slick grip of your hip made Natasha moan as she plunged deeper into oblivion, sweat pouring down her brow. She was almost all the way inside you and the sight of your flushed skin and swollen lips made Natasha's heart race with desire.
"Please! Oh God, y-yes!" you screamed, your fingers digging into the bed sheets. Somehow the older woman managed to find even more energy, increasing her pace and grinding hard against your throbbing core until every last shred of her restraint was broken.
"F-fuc-k…!!!!" you begged, your body writhing and grinding against Natasha. She did not disappoint. Her breath came in ragged gasps as she pushed deeper and faster, determined to send you over the edge of pleasure.
As your body twitched and shook beneath her, Natasha gripped your ass and drove every inch of her rock-hard fake cock into your quivering hole as if she was trying to pierce the earth's core.
Without a moment's hesitation, Natasha wrapped her arms around your trembling thighs and held you tight as she moved in and out of your body like a piston at a dizzying, relentless pace. The wet, slick sounds of your bodies touching echoed through the small room, punctuated by your cries of delicious pleasure.
Fingernails scratched and clawed at flesh, your bodies contorted in Ecstasy. You clung to Natasha, your legs wrapped tightly around her waist as Natasha impaled you over and over, going deeper with each thrust.
“S-Soo..rough!! Fucki-ng..”You cried out between labored gasps, a string of throaty curses escaping your lips as Natasha worked your body raw. With each invasion of that glorious phallus, inch by delicious inch, your mind reeled.
The thickness, the length you could feel inside you, filled you with an intensity beyond pure pleasure. Every thought, every doubt vanished in the heat of your lust. All you knew was that you never wanted it to end.
Natasha was insatiable. Her body moved like an unstoppable machine, thrusting in and out of you with a passion that made you both feel like you were losing your minds in that moment of exquisite sensation. Sweat dripped from her skin at the intensity of your contact.
Her hips bucked wildly as Natasha thrust deep inside you, drawing a throaty gurgle from your half-open mouth. "Oh, fuck yes..!" She cursed, unable to hold back.
Your climax was building, your whole body shaking with the intense pleasure that threatened to overwhelm you. A sheen of sweat covered your body and your breathing became shallow and ragged as you felt the walls of your pussy tighten around Natasha's thrusting shaft.
You threw your head back, releasing a dull mixture of pain and pleasure that only made your impending orgasm more intense.
Natasha's pupils were wide as her fingers found your swollen clit, pinching it between her thumb and forefinger.
Your back arched, your moan an uncontrolled scream that echoed off the bathroom walls like a wounded animal.
"You're going to cum, aren't you?" Natasha growled, her voice dropping an octave with each word, sending shivers down your spine.
Your legs trembled and your teeth clenched like vices as you stared into Natasha's piercing eyes. Those eyes followed every breath, every gasp, every fluttering eyelid.
"I - Natasha! I'm close... so fucking c-close!" you whispered hoarsely, your bucking hips rolling in time with your partner's relentless thrusts.
Your nails left flesh-red streaks on Natasha's back, each stroke capturing your lover's primal animal essence. Intense musky scent bloomed from your wet connection, smearing your pierced skin as the steady rhythm swelled to a crescendo.
With a strangled cry, you reached the edge. Your entire body shuddered as waves of pleasure washed over you. Natasha's hand, expertly placed on your clit and synchronized with her thrusts, brought you over the edge.
Your body tensed, then convulsed as you exploded in a shudder of ecstasy. Your scream echoed off the tiles and reverberated through the bedroom.
Natasha watched with satisfaction as your orgasm ripped through you, her eyes half-lidded in lust. The animalistic quality of the woman before her had ignited something deep within her.
With one final eruption, Natasha thrust into you with an intensity even she hadn't expected. "Ah, s-shit... almost-" Her head fell back, the feeling of dominance an exquisite aphrodisiac. She thrust one last time , “Yebat (shit), I'm coming!" Natasha cursed with a low growl.
Natasha bucked violently, her body tensing, and she surrendered to the orgasm that had developed into a feverish frenzy. Her thrusts gradually slowed as she breathed in unison with you, still intimately connected to you.
With a deep mixture of pleasure and agony, she felt herself collapsing against your chest, her vision blurring as the powerful aftershocks pulsed throughout her body.
You remained fused together, trembling in the aftermath of your shared orgasm. Your mingled breaths came in short, sharp gasps.
The silence that spread after the stormy night was soothing and filled the room with calm. "Will you marry me?" she asked, her voice rough and serious. You blinked in surprise and looked at Natasha as if to make sure you heard her correctly. "Are you serious?" you asked, your voice quiet and trembling.
Natasha nodded and took your hand in hers. "Dreykov is gone. He's history." she said, looking you deep in the eyes. "I let half of my team go. I closed my last deals. The house in Spain is empty now, and we could-"
"Yes," you said quietly, then louder and more determined. "Yes, I want to marry you."
Natasha smiled, "Say that again..." Natasha said, making your heart beat faster. "I want to marry you," you whispered, pulling Natasha into a hug. You leaned into Natasha and felt the relief and joy wash over you.
Later that morning, you prepared breakfast together. You laughed and chatted, enjoying the normality and simplicity of the moment. The threat of Dreykov had disappeared, and you could finally live in peace.
Natasha continued. "... and those who are still here will take care of legal business. My last big business deal is done, and I have everything sorted out so we can live without worries."
You looked at Natasha admiringly. "You really thought of everything." Natasha nodded and smiled. "Yes, I wanted to make sure everything was perfect."
A few weeks later, you and Natasha were seen at a home decor store, choosing furniture and decorations for your home in Spain. You laughed and discussed colors and styles, Natasha letting you make many of the decisions.
"What do you think of this one?" you asked, pointing to a sleek but comfortable looking piece. Natasha smiled. "I think it's perfect."
Back at the house, construction workers were working on implementing the changes you had planned. You and Natasha walked through the rooms together, discussing the progress and enjoying the changes.
"I want you to feel as at home here as I do," Natasha said, squeezing your hand. You smiled happily. "I already do. Thank you for including me so much."
Meanwhile, Maria was seen still in charge of the security staff. She glanced at the screens and gave instructions, but her expression was calmer than before. The danger was over, and she could focus on ensuring safety in more peaceful times.
In the evening, you sat together on the terrace of your house, the sun slowly setting, bathing the surroundings in a warm, golden light. You held hands and enjoyed the silence and calm of the moment.
"I can't imagine anything better than this," you said quietly, leaning your head on Natasha's shoulder.
"Me neither," Natasha replied gently. "We got through everything, and now we can really enjoy our lives."
Your love was stronger than ever, and you knew that as long as you were together, you could overcome any challenge. The future was bright, and you looked to it with hope and confidence.
The End.
:)
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🏷️ TAGLIST
@kipitou @thalia-is-not-ok @queen2234 @sgm616 @dorabledewdroop @natsxwife @natashaswife4125 @loneliestafterparty @jenniferjareauwife @maggieromanov @doveromanoff @agent99galanzo
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okiedokrie · 7 months ago
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Due to the (somewhat) positive reception of my Seventeen's Red Flags headcanon/drabble, here's-
Seventeen's Green Flags 🟢🟢🟢 (i dont have a green flag emoji)
S.Coups - Very loyal and protective!! Provider mindset!!
Jeonghan - Will match your energy!! Remembers the little things about you and adores taking care of you
Joshua - Classic textbook GENTLEMAN literally a unicorn among men
Jun - Loves with an innocence, basically down for whatever as long as it makes you happy
Hoshi - Enthusiastically gives you life updates, never makes you doubt his intentions
Wonwoo - Never raises his voice at you, saves all his best jokes for you
Woozi - Writes a song for you, has you as a main motivator to work harder
DK - Sunshine boy!!! Always ready to brighten your day
Mingyu - Malewife fr!!!
The8 - Your voice of reason, a person to ground you and make you feel secure
Seungkwan - Partner in crime, peels oranges for you
Vernon - YOUR #1 DEFENDER!! Will fight for your honor hands down
Dino - Dopey and innocent, down ATROCIOUS actually
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 24 days ago
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GUYS... WHAT IF...
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This goes along with the theory that the Halloween 2025 event for JP will feature Nightmare Before Christmas again, but with more focus on the Christmas part on the second lap.
WHAT IF THE SONG FOR 2025 IS A TWST COVER OF KIDNAP THE SANDY CLAWS. ... . . ... .. . .... . . . .. . because the ending card of 2024 includes Lock, Shock, and Barrel... AND ALSO BECAUSE THE CHARACTERS THAT WOULD BE IN 2025 SEEM LIKE THE TYPES TO MISUNDERSTAND AND/OR ENDORSE A KIDNAPPING. We got:
Cater (Sane relative to everyone else, probably one of the few voices of reason here.)
Ace (He’s exactly the kind of little shit that would take a prank too far and beg for forgiveness after the fact.)
Deuce (Tries to mediate like an honors student probably would. Fails and joins in because Ace was calling him a buzzkill and kept egging him on.)
Ruggie (Will do anything for the right price.)
Jack (Another rare voice of reason. Kind of goes along with it because Ruggie told him it’s fine and this is what their dorm leader would have wanted, doesn’t Jack want to make their dorm leader proud?)
Floyd (Probably has never heard of Sandy Claws before but hey, his dad has done stuff like this before so he’s all up for doing it :DD Unhinged muscle of the group, has fun knocking down elves like bowling pins.)
Kalim (Has no clue what’s happening but goes along with it under the impression that they’re just going to talk nicely with Sandy Claws. He was, in fact, lied to. Protests and tells everyone else it doesn’t feel good to be kidnapped and how would you like it if someone did this to you (he speaks from experience), but he’s largely ignored.)
Rook (THE guy that will break into your home and leave a rose on your pillow 😭 I 100% believe he has done home invasions for funsies before/j and could totally guide everyone in the mission!)
Ortho (Pulls up the schematics and deals with the security systems. He knows this isn’t ethical, but it sure is fun! Almost like a video game—and he doesn’t intend to fail their objective!)
Lilia (Will be chaotic just for the fun of it. Has been Floyd and Stitch’s partner in crime in the first Lost in the Book event too.)
Silver (An innocent bystander...)
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avocad1s · 1 year ago
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Trial By Combat
Requested By: No one. Original Work.
CW: Mentions of dying, Impostor SAGAU
Summary: After being declared an imposter, you decide to duel to defend your honor rather than stand trial.
Note: Fontaine is amazing. I’m loving every bit of it rn especially Neuvillette, Navia, and Chlorinde.
If you haven’t finished the Fontaine Archon quest, please exit stage left.
Part Two Part Three
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You never even made it to the Court Of Fontaine before you were confronted by Focalors, the Hydro Archon, of being an imposter of the Creator of Teyvat. In her own eccentric way, she throws accusations at you. ‘To take the face of the Creator is not only a crime in Fontaine but in all of Teyvat!’
You deny her claims but she only laughs, ‘you’re acting ignorant, as if you do not know who the Creator is. Do you have any evidence to prove your innocence?’
You look down, there was no evidence you had that would prove to her and everyone else that this was the face you were born with, or that you never heard of this Creator before.
“The trial of the Century” is what the Steambird called it.
The Opera House was as full as ever, many people wanting to see the verdict the Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale would give or wanting to see the one who dared to imitate Their Grace.
Maybe it was out of spite or your own foolishness, but you never allowed the trial to fully begin. Turning to Neuvillette, you declare that you want to duel rather than stand trial.
Despite the protests of Focalors, who wanted to prosecute you, the wish is granted.
The weight of the sword felt unbearable in your clammy hands as you stared at your opponent. Champion Duelist Clorinde stares back nonchalantly, her face not giving any clues on how she felt in this moment. However you heard rumors that she personally requested to duel you.
You readjusted your grip on the hilt as you fix your stance.
Was this truly the correct course of action? To fight and prove your innocence when you know that there’s no way you can win?
No it didn’t matter, you can’t back out now.
The crowd watches eagerly waiting for the duel to begin, how could the people of Fontaine do this? You were a real person and they acted as if you were a character on stage and the play was about to reach it’s final act. The excited looks on their face made your blood boil. If you somehow manage to make it out of this, you would make them pay.
You take one final glance at Furina before the duel commences.
Clorinde wastes no time to strike, using her electro vision, she effortlessly knocks your sword out of your hand and drags her blade down your torso.
Whether her fatal blow was an act of mercy or a warning for anyone else who dared to take the Creators face, the duel was over as soon as it started.
But…
No this couldn’t be right…
Clorinde looks down at her weapon, the golden ichor that dripped onto the floor caused her eyes to widen as she looks at your limp body by her feet.
She immediately drops her weapon as she kneel not caring as the blood began to stain her clothing. Her hands press against your chest to slow the bleeding as she calls out to the crowd.
“We need a doctor!”
A medical team rushes down to your side making haste to attend to your wounds, your vision begins to blur as the mortified looks of Fontaine citizens watch in despair hoping that your life could be saved.
Furina, who sat at the top like always, quickly backs away before anyone could question her. How could she face her people when she was the one who laid these accusations at your feet? How could she face you?
She prays, hoping that an act of mercy could be given to her and her people, how could she call herself an Archon now?
The original publication by the Steambird was quickly scrapped and replaced with “The Creator of Teyvat Falsely Accused of being an Imposter.”
And it didn’t take long for the devastating news to reach the other nations too.
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Sorry I had to write a little something for SAGAU Fontaine but now I will return to the requests everyone sent 🏃🏽‍♀️
© avocad1s 2023
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kurishiri · 3 months ago
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01 . . . william v.s. darius
— this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!
— cw: none.
Today was what one would call a comfortable, ideal day.
Kate: Thank you for inviting me here, Will.
K: It really has been a while since we last visited the city. I’m really looking forward to it.
William: As am I. Besides——
W: The possibility of encountering something unexpected is another thing I do look forward to, perhaps.
The glance he gave me made my heart flutter...
Kate: I would assume there’s some reason why we’re going out to the street fair going on today, right?
...and I returned his look with a searching one of my own, seeing those lips forming a perfect arc.
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William: It is a reward for a very clever and discerning little robin——
W: Ahh, before that, though, let us extend our greetings to our guest here.
When I followed his gaze, there I saw Darius, who was walking toward us with a bright, innocent smile playing on his lips.
Darius: Hello there, Sir Rex. I’ve been eagerly awaiting an opportunity to be able to chat with you.
D: Ahh, and to the little miss fairytale keeper as well. Hello there.
Kate: Hi, Darius. Were you taking a stroll?
Darius: It’s such a good day out, it would be a shame if I stayed holed up in the castle, you see.
William: So, it would appear the castle is slightly too cramped for your tastes.
Darius: Whoops, you got me.
D: The higher-ups here in the castle are so stiff and formal, I could hardly take it. In fact, it was getting a bit hard to breathe, so I came here to escape, you see.
Kate: I see, then——
I was about to invite Darius as well, when I suddenly realized something.
(That’s right, Will was about to say something a couple minutes ago too. If this outing has anything to do with a mission...)
I probably shouldn’t be the one to decide that, so I turned toward Will, only to find him staring at me with an amused expression.
William: It is as you wish, Kate.
Kate: Thank you.
(As always, he seems to know exactly what I’m thinking.)
Darius: What’s this now? Will you let me join your merry group?
Kate: Darius, how about you join us in going to a street fair?
K: Since you have come a long way to England, it would make me happy if you ended up enjoying London.
Darius: Well that sounds very interesting. Perhaps I’ll take you up on your offer.
A smile blossomed on Darius’ face in an instant, and the sight made Will narrow his eyes in response.
William: Alright then, let us share a carriage then to the fair, the three of us. [1]
—— In a carriage ——
William: So the other day, we took down a crime syndicate that committed a great many thefts,
W: and that organization would have impoverished children steal in exchange for a generous reward.
W: We have taken the children who have been used by them under custody and are supporting them now, but that is not to say we were able to completely wipe all the traces out.
Darius: ——I imagine many of those children would stain their hands with crime once again in order to survive.
D: And what better place to do so than a street fair, which is teeming with people?
D: That’s why you are going to patrol around, and should you find any child who may have relations to that organization, you will take them into custody...
D: I wonder, did my guess hit the mark, Sir Rex?
William: Straight in the mark. I would expect no less from you, director.
Darius: I’m deeply honored by your kind words.
D: Even so, though, going out to find the children who had been targeted...
D: It’s a little reminiscent to Versteckspiel.
William: Indeed, it’s fine to see this as a game of hide and seek.
W: After all, since you are staying in England for a period of time, I would like for the director of Vogel to have fun in this fair.
Kate: The fairs here in England are really fun, so I myself enjoy them too. Ah, look, we’re almost there.
When we got off the carriage in front of the fair venue, Darius’ eyes lit up at the scene before him.
Darius: Wow, it’s so lively here. Ah, what are those wavy things?
Kate: Those are garlands the people have decorated the city with. They’re all handmade, so they come in many different shapes.
Darius: Ohh, then are those flags also garlands? They have such an interesting shape. And there are so many shops I don’t know where to even start.
D: They’re a tad different from the festivals over in Germany, but the excitement never changes for any festival.
Darius’ eyes wandered around everywhere with interest, and his frolicking had a very innocent air.
(I’m glad he’s having fun. Just seeing him makes me happy as well.)
William: It seems like he is having a good time.
Kate: Right? I’m glad I invited him. Ah, look, there’s a pie wagon coming!
William: Would you care for some berry pie, director?
Will and I went to buy enough pies for three people, offering one to Darius.
However, once he took the pie, he only stared down at it, not bothering to eat any of it.
William: Oh? It is considered bad manners to eat while you stand. Or perhaps…
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Without putting on any airs, Will grabbed his own portion and took a bite.
At the sight of him chewing and swallowing, seeming to enjoy the taste, Darius widened his eyes.
William: If you were worried that poison had been mixed in, let this be proof that it is a groundless worry.
Will wiped the berry sauce on the corner of his lips with his thumb, smiling as he met Darius’ gaze.
Darius: Ahaha, to think you would fulfill the role of a poison taster of your own volition… it’s almost wasted on you.
D: But, that is also groundless on your part.
D: I am actually quite good, you see, at eating with bad manners.
The next moment, he took a large bite out of the pie, stuffing his cheeks.
Kate: Oh, you’ve got cream all over your mouth.
Darius: Hmm? It’s fiiine. Here, why don’t you have some, too, miss fairytale keeper? It’s scrumptious.
Darius paid zero mind to the fact that cream was on his face,
and seeing him munching so happily——
I remembered how he had mentioned that the castle felt a bit cramped.
(So right now, I would like it if he can spread his wings out as far as he can.)
Seeing the two before me so casually eat away, naturally my cheeks started to relax.
With a liberating feeling, I also took a large bite out of my pie.
Kate: Mm! It’s really good!
(Ah, come to think of it…)
Kate: Darius, you mentioned that you like foods that are either hard to make or hard to obtain, right?
Darius: Huh?
Kate: Those types of things don’t seem to be around here, so I will try to find some again next time!
Darius: Oh wow, so you remember the things that others have said very well.
William: Our little robin here is one to take actions for others; it is one of her virtues.
W: This pie as well, I see you have chosen my favorite flavor.
Kate: Yes, as I don’t make a mistake when it comes to whatever you say tastes good.
Darius: Ah, you like strawberries, don’t you, Sir Rex?
William: Oh? How did you know?
Darius: Is it not natural to do some research on the people you want to get along with?
William: Ahaha, your ardent words are loving music to my ears, director.
W: Actually, I am in the midst of unraveling the mystery that is you.
Darius: Oh? You are?
William: Indeed, I have come to learn a variety of things about you in this short time we’ve spent together.
W: Such as how you so heartily eat pie, among other things.
Darius: Ahaha, you aren’t wrong about that.
William: If the little robin hadn’t invited the director on this outing, such would remain a mystery. So thank you, Kate.
Kate: If you would like to give thanks, it is better suited for the ‘coincidence’ of meeting Darius right before we left.
K: Besides, I feel the same. I would like to get to know you more, Darius.
When I turned toward Darius, his entire face was smiling.
Darius: So you would like to get along more with me, miss fairytale keeper. I’m delighted to hear.
D: Let’s play together and get along much, much more, okay? And Sir Rex as well.
William: You can call me William.
Darius: Then you can just call me Darius. And miss fairytale keeper, that goes for you too?
Kate: Huh, is it really alright for me to call you Darius as well?
Darius: Why, of course. There’s no need to get so caught up in formalities if we’re going to get along with each other, right? So call me Darius, okay?
Kate: Okay then, Darius. I’ll do that from now on!
Then, William extended a hand to Darius.
William: We welcome you to England.
Smiling, Darius exchanged a handshake with Will.
Darius: Thank you. I hope next time you’ll find a time to come visit us in Germany.
D: Of course, that goes for both Crown… and the little miss fairytale keeper.
—— Scene change ——
While enjoying the lively festivities in contrast to the everyday, we could hear a notably loud shout of joy.
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Darius: Hm? What are they all doing over there?
With our interests piqued, we headed toward the area where people were gathered, and——
Kate: Oh, they’re throwing horse shoes.
Darius: Ohh, it looks so fun. Now I want to try it.
William: Well then, I may participate as well.
Darius: Ah, then how about we have a match?
William: I don’t mind. I do imagine having a reward for the winner would make this match even more interesting as well, but…
Darius: Then how does miss fairytale keeper here sound for a reward?
to be continued…
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will vs darius jude vs nica alfons vs ring
first next →
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NOTES:
[1] Will says [ひとつ共有しておこう] (hitotsu kyouyū shite okō), which means “sharing one”... thing... in order to like stay as a three man group at the fair. I just assumed he meant a carriage, as the next scene takes place in a carriage, but I may be wrong here.
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full masterlist 🌹🪽
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the-fiction-witch · 4 months ago
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I Like Him P2
Media - House Of The Dragon Character - Oscar Tully Couple - Oscar X Reader Reader - (OC) Jaerra Targaryen [Daughter of Daemon Targaryen & Rhea Royce] Rating - 15 Word Count - 1119
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Jaerra followed her father and Lord Oscar out into the fallen godswood of Harenhall where the riverloads had gathered below a cold grey sky. She sat on a large piece of stone that littered the courtyard, as Daemon paced Oscar pacing around him going to toe to toe with Daemon.
"In the deepest darkness comes the dawn... a new lord... a new beginning," Daemon explained, "Let us put all the old unpleasantness behind this,"
Tension bubbled as lords looked between each other,
Oscar spoke up, "Be Welcome my lords, and you have my thanks for answering my summons," he explained his voice raising as he spoke finding his firm voice large enough to address the crowd of lords, "I know I am not the man my grandser was... but I hope to begin well and go on from there."
"Well said." Daemon added, "One thing is clear, the river men honour the old ways and abide by tradition, here then is tradition Grover Tully is dead, Lord Oscar raised up in his place, and you have been summoned here to swear anew your fealty to him. And as his bannermen answer his call!"
"And what would that call be?" a River lord asked,
"In his wisdom, he has pledged his house and yours to me," Daemon answered before Lord Oscar could speak.
"Lord Osacar, for generations we have been guided by the judgement of your forebears, why now should we follow a boy younger then my own sons? When you will align with one... who will desecrate the innocent to reach his aims." Lord Piper asked,
"I did only what was necessary! My lord." Willem Blackwood spoke up, "And I now deliver to you the traitor Amos Bracken and his son."
"No more a traitor to his lands than you Willem Blackwood!"
"I take to heart your words, lord Piper." Oscar broke up the fight before it began, "And I agree, I am young... and I have no love for Daemon Targaryen," Oscar glared at Daemon, briefly his eyes met Jaerra and he went to speak but he continued on, "he has dishonoured himself and the crown with his... comportment here. Nevertheless having so little experience to guide me... my best course is to defer to the oath my grandsire sword to King Viserys when he named Rhaynera Targaryen his heir, I see no reason to cast aside loyalty... no matter how loathsome I... may find her representative the prince."
"King." Daemon glared,
"Consort," Jaerra added,
"Mind your young boy." Daemon glared at Oscar ignoring Jaerra's comment,
"Will you have our army or not?" Oscar asked making his way to Daemon,
Daemon didn't answer,
"I am in the end a Riverman," Oscar said as he walked away, "And the word of my house stands, even if ... some people are unworthy of it."
"Your lord Oscar is bold. But he is... perhaps not wrong, I may have been a touch... enthusiastic in pursuing my aims." Daemon explained as he paced once more. "But don't allow my failings, to keep you from supporting... an upright...man."
"My lord Oscar we honor the old ways, as Prince Daemon says, and the old ways call for justice to be done." The lady of a house spoke up,
"Yes. Justice has been done." Willem protested, "They who bent the knee to the usurper have been brought to heal! And now we unite... before our liege lord and our king consort," Willem pulled his sword and bent the knee offering his blade,
Oscar moved closer and held his hands to the man's offer, "I accept you as my vassal Lord Blackwood... but" he moved away, "I am lord paramount of all river houses, and there is... only one punishment for the crimes you visited upon your neighbours,"
"I did only as his grace, the king! Commanded of me."
"True... but he laid bare his base desires. But you did not have to pursue such savagery," Oscar explained, "You did it. Because you wanted to."
"Our young lord speaks truly," Lord Piper added,
"Seize him," Oscar commanded,
And the Harrenhall men came and took Willem Blackwood by the arms,
"You can't fucking do this... your grace commands them. I have only served you!"
"If his grace wishes to show contrition for his acts and to prove himself deserving of our banners, he must now rectify his grievous error." Oscar explained, "Denounce your crimes," he tells Willem, "And dispense justice."
Willen argued and tried to fight his way out,
"Oh dear..." Lord Strong muttered,
Daemon took a moment to think, and Jaerra watched him closely as he began to move and draw his sword,
"You're grace I've been faithful!" Willem begged,
But with a fast and simple swing, Willem's head was removed from his body, Daemon made his way inside with Lord Strong following, and the river lords slowly left to make their arrangements. But Oscar loomed longer.
Jaerra pushed herself off the rock and made her way over to him, "You handled them..."
"Have I just sent my lords to die?" He asked,
"...Yes," she nodded, "But that's war."
"True," He sighed, "I should have done it..."
"Done it?"
"Given out the sentence."
"Daemon is the one who doomed him long before you did,"
"...I- I admit, I have... not..."
"Look." Jaerra told him, "Long and hard, he is not the first man put to the sword in this war, and he shall far from be the last. Grow used to it now."
"You speak as if you have been to war a thousand times, we have been lucky to be born with only peace."
"Daemon is my father," She reminds,
"That is enough of an answer," He chuckled, "Forgive me, Princess-"
Jaerra scoffed, "Even calling me lady is a formality. It is not needed My Lord Tully." She nodded before she made her way towards the doors,
"Jaerra!"
She turned on her heels, "Yes Oscar?"
"... I find your father loathsome. Utterly so." He explained,
"As many do," she chuckled,
"But... truly, that does not extend to you." He said, "Not even slightly"
Jaerra smiled, "Thank you, and know that I to have no such feelings for you, I think we somewhat think the same of my father."
"I... I must ask, are you remaining here?"
"I am," she nodded, "I shall remain until my queen demands me elsewhere,"
"I- I hope she doesn't demand you, too soon."
"Neither do I," Jaerra agreed, "You shall remain?"
"Yes. With my men." He nodded, "I will set up tent with my men,"
"A tent?" she chuckled, "Should the lord not be in the castle?"
"I thought it may be mess damp in the tent." Oscar joked,
"You may be right," Jaerra laughed, "But not proper for a Liege lord to tent with his men. I will see what can be found for you Oscar."
"Thank you Jaerra," he nodded,
She smiled and headed inside the castle. 
Tags - @llynx7
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shhhsecretsideblog · 1 month ago
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you were a big shot attorney. You always won your cases and had the highest success rate in your firm. You thought now you could settle early and start a family. but you didn't realize that nine months later, you would be representing the defendant of the biggest case in the county.
Your firm suggested that you should take leave since you were so close to your due date, but you refused. You taken all the notes and documented all the evidence to prove your client's innocence.
As you arrived to the court house, you were feeling twinges in your hips and lower belly but you passed them as practice contractions. Soon as you sit down, you couldn't help but feeling restricted as you felt your belly lower than usual as it planted all over your lap. As the trial goes on, you breathe heavily when you sit but had to cover up the pain as you were questioning other witnesses.
The finishing statements come and you slowly get up, scrunching your face as you felt a small pop go in your pants. You look down at your seat and see your water just broke. Your client sees it too and looks panicked for your state. You give them a look saying you got this and was relieved that your pants were black.
"Your honor, members of the jury, my client has more than enough proof that-" You stopped mid sentence as the worst contraction hits you, making you lose your breath. You hold onto the table for stability, as everyone in the court had all their eyes on you.
"Five witnesses have a record of seeing my client 14 miles away from the crime scene and has no skill or experience of committing the charges against them. May the record show that - mmmmmmmmmm" You bit your lip as you widen your stance, feeling a force coming down your pelvis.
You couldn't notice the commotion around you as the blinding pain forced you to spread your legs as you felt the baby's feet pressing down your pants as you could not control your pushing.
I was winning the case but swiftly losing the battle against my body. Throughout the long drawn out day I’d tried to ignore the cramps, dismissing their rising strength and frequency. I paid no mind to the way my belly hung lower on my aching hips, or the weight that had dropped into my pelvis. It was the final day of the court hearing, the last day to make my case to the jury and implore my client's innocence.
My closing speech was suddenly lost to my uncontrollable groaning, the blinding pain all consuming, and I could distinctively feel something coming out of my body. “Ohhhh god…” I moaned, gripping the desk in front of me and bearing down with the rampant contraction.
I could feel something moving, my eyes widened in panic. It wasn’t coming from inside my womb, this movement was outside between my thighs. My heart jumped to my throat in fear, having seen one too many horror films, and irrationally worried what on earth I was giving birth to… One of my hands left the desk and drifted between my legs and I felt through the fabric a foot sticking out of my vagina. Breech. Oh fuck, my baby is breech.
I had no idea what was happening in the courtroom, where my client was, what the jury were thinking, all I could focus on was the unbearable pressure filling my pelvis. My body was crying out at me to push, to deliver the baby and stop all the pain. I growled, bearing down once more, and I felt myself stretch wider and wider beneath my clothes as the baby descended.
It was coming out… my baby was literally coming out of me right there in the middle of the courtroom and there was nothing I could do to stop it. My underwear was soon filling with the torso of my baby, pulling and stretching the fabric beyond recognition. I wanted to remove my clothing, to hold my baby as it slipped further and further out, but I couldn’t get my body to move. Wider… my hips had to be wider. I curled forward, leaning far over the table on my elbows and pushing my hips backward. “Mnghhhh…. My baby… it’s coming….” I grunted, pushing the shoulders past my sensitive lips, the head of the baby still to be born.
“Fuck…. Hurts… oh god, here comes another contraction…” My fingernails clawed at the wooden desk as I bore down against the large round mass of the head. I pushed and screamed and mooed and grunted… the head painfully slowly inching out. Then the pain stopped, my body sagging with relief as the head slipped out and my baby was completely born into my underwear.
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genderfluid-insomniac · 1 year ago
Text
age regression!reader with the harbingers
a/n: this was for a request on ao3 but I post all of my works on both platforms (still updating the ao3 one)
THIS ISN'T A SEXUAL THING!! IF YOU MAKE IT ONE I WILL BLOCK YOU!!
Pierro
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Usually seems stoic and uncaring but you know him better than most people being his little. Pierro was very understanding and a tad confused until you explained it, wanting to help in any way possible and buying anything you wanted (and more if he thought you’d like it).
Best storyteller as he’s seen so much as both the royal mage of Khaenri’ah and the director of the harbingers; so whenever you want a story and he’s free from work all you have to do is ask. He makes sure you have proper health and won’t budge if you want sweets but you haven’t eaten a meal yet. A strict but very kind and caring caregiver.
If probably one of the most protective caregivers of all. of the harbingers given that he’s got a big target on his back for a variety of reasons (being Khaenri’an, top harbinger, war crimes, etc.). He never leaves you alone if he has to leave which is almost never since he’s rarely sent on missions and is the one the harbingers report back to, keeping you in a side room off of his office within view of both of you and checking on your from time to time between meal breaks.
Pierro loves how small you are in his arms and how your eyes are full of innocence when you are little, if he could keep you with him he would. He has tons of blankets to keep you warm from the cold that seeps in from the harsh weather and makes large fires in the evenings as he does paperwork while you play on the carpet with your crayons and plushies.
Il Capitano
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Now as much as he seems tough and cold, behind closed doors you know he’s ironically one of the softest people you’ve met and has said that he’d kill for you if anyone threatened to hurt you in either state (little or big). Capitano keeps you as much of a secret as he can in fear of something happening to you and also away from Childe because, from his point of view, he’s a fighting-crazed maniac and doesn’t want little you to be corrupted.
You are one of the only people to see his face and it’s gorgeous including all the scars and burn marks, cupping your hands on his cheeks and giggling as the soft smile he wears just for you. He has a small team of soldiers that watch you whenever he has to leave and they secretly adore you, gentle expressions watch over you as you play with the toys that Capitano gave you and snack on local fruits while an abyss mage blanket is wrapped around you.
He adores your sleeping face or when you’re yawning after a long day and settling down for a nap, Capitano’s very glad his head covering hides his face because he’s smiling so wide and looking so soft. He has a hidden talent for getting you to sleep in seconds and all it takes for it to happen is to whisper comforting comments into your ear while rocking you.
This man’s voice is shockingly deep and wouldn’t tell anyone but can sing fairly well however he only knows basic folk songs or songs he’s picked up from his travelers. He will only sing if he’s 100% sure he’s alone and is mostly silent around the other harbingers so only his soldiers and you get the honor of hearing his voice.
Dottore
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The doctor loves little you no matter what age you are but does have a hard and fast rule which is no playing in his lab. Ever. He acts like he doesn’t care about humanity but he's such a hypocrite as he would kill for you.
In his lab, there is a corner that is sectioned off specifically for you to be in with toys, blankets, plushies, spill-proof food, and drinks however the fencing surrounding the corner is high enough that you can’t climb over it, and thin but strong material. So you can easily see whatever your caregiver is up to but stay safe and out of harm in case anything happens.
If fussy then he’ll usually have a segment around to comfort you and attend to your needs if OG Dottore absolutely needs to do Harbinger work which both of you don’t like for different reasons. There are rare times when what he’s experimenting with or on something (like shield potions or enhanced foods) that he deems “safe” enough he’ll let you sit by him and color or fidget.
You have a lot of perfect tools for your regression that work perfectly because Dottore has done trials of what you like and what you don’t like. For example, your favorite blanket you have is a big Pyro abyss mage fur blanket that he made and keeps you warm with the mage’s abilities infused into the fur. Currently, you’ve seen him working on a cryo version for the harsh cold of Snezhnaya when you want to go outside and play in the snow but he’s yet been able to infuse a cryo-resistant effect which frustrates him to no end.
He has a strange talent for knowing exactly what’s bothering you before you know it given his knowledge of the human body and anatomy, preventing any meltdowns before they happen and keeping little you happy and satisfied.
This man is very protective over you knowing if someone finds out the second fatui harbinger had a soft spot for a human then you’re going to be a main target for his destruction and that cannot happen. Very rarely leaves you alone when you’re little and has either a trusted fatuus or segment be with you until he can get back.
Like in Sumeru, Dottore wanted to bring you with him but couldn’t due to his work having to be his main focus and secretly being worried about the traveler or Sumerian guards hurting you. He ended up leaving in the care of Arlecchino who agreed but under certain circumstances for her own mission in Fontaine and she often had some of the children from the house of the hearth care for you when she had meetings. (Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet adored you and sent you letters or “magic” gifts when you had to leave)
Columbina
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This goes without saying but has one of the best singing voices of all of them and has put some of her soldiers to sleep by accident when they’ve overheard her singing to herself since her voice carries. You have been put to sleep by her voice and melodies countless times you’ve lost track and little you really like her voice. So whenever she can she’ll bring you into her office, placing you in a short walled-off area beside her, and humming or singing a favorite song while she works to reward you for being good.
Since she is the third harbinger no one really knows about her strength and that includes you, very rarely have you gotten glimpses of her power, and its always when someone threatens you or dares to question why Lady Columbina keeps a child at her side. Your caregiver shields you from the violence of the world because you’re her little one, her light among the darkness and she’s your mommy, your angelic caregiver who makes all your wishes come true.
Columbina, despite being one of the strongest harbingers, is very weak to your big cute eyes pleading for another blanket, toy, of sweet she brought back from a faraway nation and she of course bends to your wishes. At times you’ve babbled about how you have your very own fairy godmother who wipes your tears and rocks you gently whenever you get fussy. She spoils you rotten and has no shame in it, having your own room attached to hers that is baby-proofed but also filled with everything you could ever need. The room looks almost like it’s made of clouds with pacifiers hung on the wall for you to grab and everything organized in a multilayered box that contains the softest comfort clothes, pull-ups, clean wipes, and noise-canceling headphones for overstimulation.
Another one of the harbingers that is very protective of you and will not hesitate to kill others if it means getting her little one back in her arms. However, she’s pretty confident about being able to protect you; so very rarely will be brought to a meeting and sitting on your mommy’s lap happily napping or relaxing in her big coat. Some of her other colleagues aren’t fond of you being in the meeting while others are very fond of you and as a gift one winter solstice, you were gifted your own big fluffy coat resembling your mama’s coat.
Arlecchino
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She isn’t one for gifts but will give you the necessary things like toys, blankets, and eventually other things from neighboring nations that she thinks your little self would like. Arlecchino has everything in themes of the ocean because of her love for her homeland and has everything organized in a somewhat kid-proof box with some stray blankets or toys out for you to play with unless you want others. Whenever you’re regressed (normally in Fountaine since that’s where she mainly stays unless sent otherwise) she pretends not to notice her children Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet giving you gifts as well. Little you is very shy and happy so when you’ve been given a gift you blush looking up at them and timidly murmuring a “thank you” to whoever gave you a gift.
One of the most protective people out of all the harbingers and if anyone decides to fuck with her little one, doesn’t resist killing that person and genuinely is wondering if they’re stupid enough to attack someone close to a harbinger. She mostly brings you with her but on occasions she can’t she keeps you in her office with her most trusted soldiers. You’re comfortable with your favorite blanket and toy all bundled up in the corner babbling about with the innocent child look in your eyes that she loves completely safe. On occasion, she’ll have one of the hearth children come and play with you, those are the days you really look forward to because you rarely get playmates aside from your mommy.
Arlecchino rarely leaves on missions but when she does she leaves you in the care of some of her soldiers along with Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet to take care of you. They seriously love you and take care of you like their own sibling; Lynette of course spoils you with deserts much to Lyney’s dismay who amazes you with magic tricks and Freminet who tells you all about underwater animals. When Arlecchino does take you with her she keeps you with her at all times unless she has to go somewhere where you can’t go or it’s dangerous. In that case, she tells you to stay put at the base until she gets back setting you up with all the necessities and ordering some of her soldiers in and outside of the room.
Sandrone
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At first, Marionette thought she had everything down by using her mechanical puppets to take care of you but that proved very wrong when you had nonstop tantrums and cried about wanting your real mommy claiming that these puppets were emotionless (which was true). She then had you with her at all times, including when she locks herself in her lab for hours on end focusing on her research and you’re right beside her with a puppet to bring you anything you want. You’re quite happy since you’re near your mommy and you can play and nap like you want, getting attention from time to time and when Sandrone wants a break she’ll bring you into her arms for a quick nap or cozy affections.
Is similar to Dottore about the necessities as she can pretty much make or get whatever you need and does “experiment” on you and it’s not what you think. She creates different blankets, pacifiers, and comfort clothes using different materials and learns what you like and what you don’t like. Her little one has a number of different toys (quite advanced and new) that she invented and some of them shockingly can respond to your babbles.
Since she brings you with her, where she’s traveling if there comes a time when anything dangerous happens she’ll use her main puppet that she sits on to open a sizable compartment where she’ll put her little in until the danger is over and then bring you out when this is over. Comforting you if you get scared and pulling out a small music box that sounds like your favorite song, running her fingers through your hair, and silently rubbing shapeless figures on your back.
Tartaglia
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Oh my gods, this man doesn’t stop giving you gifts and toys so you have to have a couple of chests full or you share them with his siblings. You do know about his harbinger status however your little self loves the cover status he uses for his siblings and he takes great pride in encouraging it when he plays with you, joyfully claiming you’re his biggest customer and going in for tickles as a reward for being such an amazing patron (even when he had to explain to your regressed self what patron meant). Childe has a small playpen right next to his desk but back enough so he could hold your hand if you wanted and you giggled and babbled bashfully at the large space given to you. His heart warms when you draw crudely done pictures of both of you and show him with a very proud smile like a new soldier winning their first battle.
Might be one of the very protective ones even if he acts aloof and if even one person makes a move or gives off a harmful intent, he’s not holding back if the other person threatens him or his little one for a debt release and is washing some of the blood off of his clothes before he comes to see you. When you’re regressed or your mind is fuzzy you’re not sure why he always has you with him or promises that you’ll never get hurt or harmed in any way as long as he’s alive.
We all know this man is always on missions and on some of them he can’t bring you with him which pains him to no end, hoping you’re alright and his little one is not missing him too much. Like the others sent his most trusted soldiers to watch over you and care for your needs, often hearing that his siblings joined you for most of the day and smiling at the thought of you happily babbling on about your excitement. No harbingers are allowed to even be near you, especially not Il Dottore and the only exception in the fatui now was Arlecchino and Pulcinella.
It should be no surprise that the 11th harbinger spoils you with treats from all different nations and most of them are sugary or your favorite flavors. You have a whole pantry of snacks and food to nibble on if you’re hungry, they’re also non-complex foods and stuff you can easily just grab and eat. Even though your caregiver is very sweet towards you he is strict in the sense of making sure you’re nourished and not just made up of sugar. Childe also doesn’t want you to get sick or cavities if he can help it. So sweets are mostly kept to when you’re good or if he comes back/home from a long mission (usually with you there) and you’re happy either way, your favorite foods make you more agreeable.
Childe absolutely had a hard bedtime that he makes you follow however it doesn’t mean he’s just going to leave in bed to fall asleep in the dark and go about his own. He lets you pick a story for him to read or make up as you fall asleep and quietly sneaks out once he’s sure you’re sound asleep with little chance of waking up. If you have a nightmare he’ll let you cuddle with him and talk out your nightmare so it doesn’t seem scary anymore.
Pantalone
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You are so spoiled by him and your whole room is filled with stuff you asked for and also didn’t ask for courtesy of your caregiver. He had a smaller version of the formal harbinger coat made for you and instructed you to wear it when you were outside with anyone, taking extra precautions with the fur and buttons so you couldn’t take them off or chew on them. He has a whole separate wardrobe of outfits for your little self and it’s all in your favorite colors. All you need to do is point to it and he’ll get it as soon as he can or if it’s someone else’s he’s not going to take it cause it’s not sanitary but he’ll make an identical one from scratch.
The banker seems not that violet or caring to anyone given his impartial opinion and blatant lack of care in La Signora’s death however that’s cause he didn’t really have any attachments to his colleagues because that’s all they were…colleagues. You are his one exception, as his lover you’re his first priority obviously over the money and when you are in your little headspace he’s not taking any chances with you. He has you with him in his office diagonally behind so he can still see you while you happily play with your toys all wrapped in blankets in case anyone bursts in with intent to harm either of you.
Pantalone’s almost always never sent on a mission since he stays in Schneznyah to take care of the Fatui’s grand finances as well as the major Northland Banks around Tevyat and that means staying at the homeland to get all the reports as soon as possible. He’s very grateful he doesn’t have to travel and gets to spend more time with you by his side, however, when he does have to leave for a mission he will take you with him every single time and doesn’t let you out of sight unless it’s with his most competent soldier. Whenever you both travel whether it’s on a boat, carriage, on foot, in the air, or on the Fontaine waterways he’ll have you with him to play with a coloring book and if it’s a long travel distance he’ll have you take a nap(if you throw a tantrum then you’re going to get sent to timeout).
Getting you to eat can be a struggle since you much prefer to nap than eat even if you need it to stay healthy and when you do eat because of Pantalone still spoiling you you have a very rich pallet or rather very expensive pallet. He’s glad that when you get hungry you don’t get really fussy you get quieter and pouty hoping your caregiver would tend to your needs. Your favorite thing to do is eat breakfast or dinner with your caregiver's lap as you both finish your meals and Pantalone lists off what he has to do today, telling you to go get your favorite toys and blanket before he heads in to do paperwork.
He is very strict on bedtimes and the reason is that you have a habit of being clingy when he has to get up which is pretty early as he has a lot of work to do as a harbinger but carefully slips in a pillow in place of himself which usually work and sometimes it doesn’t. You’ll happily snuggle into your “caregiver” as Pantalone quietly gets ready and has a soldier guard your room in case you get up or any issues come up, instructing them to report if any problems arise. Going to bed is always fun as you’re piled under blankets and he’s always snuggled next to you and reading you stories he’s heard from across all of the world.
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animusrox · 2 years ago
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LETTERBOXD
1.   The Batman 2.   Everything Everywhere All at Once 3.   Prey 4.   Triangle of Sadness 5.   Barbarian 6.  The Northman 7.   Bodies Bodies Bodies 8.   The Banshees of Inisherin 9.   Bones and All 10.   Avatar: The Way of Water
Grade A
11.   Turning Red 12.   The Menu 13.   Babylon 14.   Hit the Road 15.   Cow 16.   Watcher 17.   Funny Pages 18.   Mad God 19.   On the Count of Three 20.   Armageddon Time 21.   Terrifier 2 22.   Marcel the Shell with Shoes On 23.   Smile 24.   Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery 25.   Holy Spider 26.   Aftersun 27.   The Fabelmans 28.   Breaking 29.   Decision to Leave 30.   The Whale 31.   All Quiet on the Western Front 32.   Brian and Charles 33.   Piggy 34.   Saint Omer 35.   Thirteen Lives 36.   Men 37.   The Fallout 38.   Resurrection 39.   Causeway 40.  The Black Phone 41.   Official Competition 42.   Nope 43.  Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio 44.   Apollo 10½: A Space Age Childhood 45.   Till 46.   TÁR 47.   Happening 48.   A Love Song 49.   The Outfit 50.   The Innocents 51.   Jackass Forever 52.   BARDO, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths 53.   Montana Story 54.   Three Thousand Years of Longing 55.   You Won’t Be Alone 56.   The Sadness 57.   Halloween Ends 58.   Pearl 59.   X 60.   Vesper
Click "Keep Reading” For My Full List
Grade B
61.   This Place Rules 62.   Fresh 63.   Windfall 64.   Kimi 65.   No Exit 66.   Top Gun: Maverick 67.   “Sr.” 68.   Farha 69.   The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent 70.   Weird: The Al Yankovic Story 71.   Nitram 72.   Speak No Evil 73.   Run Sweetheart Run 74.   She Said 75.   White Noise 76.   Puss in Boots: The Last Wish 77.   V/H/S/99 78.   The Wonder 79.   Women Talking 80.   Hatching 81.   Soft & Quiet 82.   Scream 83.   To Leslie 84.   Hustle 85.   Chip ’n Dale: Rescue Rangers 86.   Dual 87.   God’s Country 88.   Emancipation 89.   Vengeance 90.   Fire of Love 91.   Bullet Train 92.   Incantation 93.   The Valet 94.   Hellraiser 95.   Christmas Bloody Christmas 96.   Significant Other 97.   Cha Cha Real Smooth 98.   Lucy and Desi 99.   Not Okay 100.   A Christmas Story Christmas 101.   Blonde 102.   Deadstream 103.   Sissy
Grade C
104.   The Bad Guys 105.   The Cursed 106.   Empire of Light 107.   A Man Called Otto 108.   Broker 109.   Black Panther: Wakanda Forever 110.   The Princess 111.   Beast 112.   After Yang 113.   RRR 114.   Fall 115.   Jackass 4.5 116.   Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe 117.   Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness 118.   Jennifer Lopez: Halftime 119.   Lightyear 120.   The Pale Blue Eye 121.   The Woman King 122.   Violent Night 123.   God’s Creatures 124.   Ambulance 125.   Elvis 126.   You Are Not My Mother 127.   Emily the Criminal 128.   Crimes of the Future 129.   The Apology 130.   The Lost City 131.   Wendell & Wild 132.   Trainwreck: Woodstock ’99 133.   The Found Footage Phenomenon 134.   See How They Run 135.   Spiderhead 136.   Studio 666 137.   Bros 138.   Spin Me Round 139.   We’re All Going to the World’s Fair 140.   Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank 141.   Honor Society
Grade D
142.   Thor: Love and Thunder 143.   Summering 144.   Strange World 145.   Glorious 146.   The Gray Man 147.   Devotion 148.   Clerks III 149.   The Forgiven 150.   Enola Holmes 2 151.   Father Stu 152.   Jurassic World Dominion 153.   DC League of Super-Pets 154.   She Will 155.   The Bob’s Burgers Movie 156.   Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody 157.   Hellbender 158.   Samaritan 159.   Day Shift 160.   Sonic the Hedgehog 2 161.   Prey for the Devil 162.   Troll 163.   Uncharted 164.  Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile 165.   Dashcam 166.   Firestarter 167.   Do Revenge 168.   Catwoman: Hunted 169.   The Munsters 170.   Amsterdam 171.   Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore
Grade F
172.   Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris 173.   The Bubble 174.   Dead for a Dollar 175.   Jerry & Marge Go Large 176.   Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. 177.   Infinite Storm 178.   Marry Me 179.   Don’t Worry Darling 180.   Spirited 181.   Disney's Pinocchio 182.   Alice 183.   Black Adam 184.   Orphan: First Kill 185.   The Adam Project 186.   The Invitation 187.   Texas Chainsaw Massacre 188.   Ticket to Paradise 189.   The 355 190.   Umma
Bottom 10
191.   Green Lantern: Beware My Power 192.   Deep Water 193.   Where the Crawdads Sing 194.   Blacklight 195.   Mack & Rita 196.   Memory 197.   Me Time 198.   Death on the Nile 199.   Morbius 200.   Moonfall
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juanarc-thethird · 10 months ago
Text
Indiana Jaune.
The famous explorer Dr. Jaune Arc is in trouble. He was caught by a tribe of Amazon women. He was arrested by the tribe's champion, Eve Taurus, and dragged before the chief, Sienna Khan. Where he will be judged for his crime: Taking their sacred Idol.
Eve: I brought the thief, chief.
She pushes him in front of sienna.
Jaune: *Falls to the ground* Ugh!
Sienna (chief): Jaune Arc, you were caught in the act stealing our sacred Idol. How do you respond to this accusation?
Jaune: *Stands up* Innocent!
Eve: Liar!
Sienna: Eve, let him speak. Why do you claim to be innocent?
Jaune: That artifact does not belong to your tribe. It was stolen from the sacred temple in the volcano and now it will erupt at any moment unless we return the Idol to its respective place.
Eve: Chief, you can't possibly believe that! He is a-!
Sienna: Silence! *Sighs* Your words have some truth in them. After we acquired the artifact, the land where we live has become hostile to us.
Eve: But that doesn't change the fact that he stole from us, a tribe that welcomed him with open arms!
Sienna: My champion is right. Stealing, no matter the circumstances, remains a serious crime in my tribe.
Jaune: I understand, and I beg your forgiveness. Since what I did was not a selfish act, but an act to save this tribe and the creatures that live in this jungle.
Sienna: You are honorable, I can see that. But my tribe will demand compensation.
Jaune: I understand. I will accept any punishment, but we have to return that Idol now.
Sienna: Anything huh…. *Looks at him up and down* I think we can reach an agreement. *She smiles*
Eve: *Evil smile* Oooh ho ho, you're so...
-------------
Eve: *Heart eye* FUCK!!~💕
Eve is lying face down, while Jaune fucks her along with the help of Sienna. She is pushing his hips towards Eve, by dropping her weight on top of him. Leaving Jaune in the middle of an Amazon sanwich.
Jaune: Oh god~💕 How long do I have to do this?
Sienna: Until every woman in the tribe becomes pregnant. After all, the idol you took was of fertility.
Jaune: But I... But I-!... Oh FUCK!!!~💕
*SPLURT!!*
Eve: 💕Oh GOD!!💕 He is filling me all up!~💕
Sienna: Good boy, now on to the next one.
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